Most of you may already know that we are in the process of adopting a son from Russia, but many of you may not know the full story behind what got us to this point. This is our story...Back in December of last year, both D (my husband) and I became aware of a constant (almost nagging) feeling that we are not done having children. This feeling followed me every waking hour, and even awoke me at night. Being that we already have three beautiful children and are very happy with that, we were both confused by this feeling. We talked about it many times and finally decided it must be just one of those urges that would pass. Not that we wouldn't love another child, we would, but that just wasn't in our plan. So, we went on with our lives...
Fast forward to May of this year. The feeling that there would be another child for us came back. I was again trying to ignore it. One day, I was sitting at my son's baseball practice chatting with a friend. Somewhere in the conversation, she asked if we were planning on having any more children. At first, I answered "no". Remembering that feeling, though, I quickly added, "Well, we don't PLAN to have any more, but I often get the feeling that the Lord has another one planned for us". She looked at me and said, "I know for certain if you feel you are not done, then you're not". This hit me! Could it be true? I had never thought of it like that! I just always thought most parents who cherish their children walk around with an uncertain feeling regarding additional children. So what was going on with me? It began to occur to me that the Lord had/has a plan for us, and I was finally ready to accept it.
I spent the next few weeks preparing myself for another pregnancy. I talked with D, and after much prayer, we began to feel certain pregnancy wasn't the answer. It's as if our hearts were slowly turned off to the idea. I began to wonder, if we are not supposed to have a biological child, then what is God trying to convey to us? The first week of June began, and I was barraged by adoption. I cannot explain it, but everywhere I turned, it was there- on T.V., in conversations, on the internet, etc... Adoption began to take hold of my heart. By the end of the week, I was spending hours upon hours researching adoption, often in tears. Was this really something we could/would do? Of course, if God is asking something of you, this is a silly question. It is more like, "How will God accomplish this?" I began to get excited about the thought... God was going to bless us with another child in a most miraculous way! I prayed intently for a sign. I needed to know that this was really what God was trying to get into my heart. Just a few minutes later, I went online and typed in "Christian Adoption Agencies". I went to the first website listed and want straight to the seminar dates. There won't be any we can go to, I thought. Since several of our friends have adopted, I already knew that almost all of the agencies are based out of the East or West coasts, and the seminars are usually in biger cities, not in a small town like ours. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw ther was a seminar the very next day just 5 minutes from our house! This time I prayed harder, "Lord, D will NEVER go to this- he hates to go places where he doesn't know anyone, and he is still stuck on the idea that you want us to have a baby. He will NEVER do this. Besides, we don't have a babysitter. If this truly is your will, then you must change his heart". I called him right away and told him what I had discovered. His initial reaction was just as I had expected. "You can go", he said. I hung up, discouraged. But I should have known what was to come next... I got home two hours later, and D said, "I think maybe adoption IS the answer. My dad will babysit the kids tomorrow (he has never agreed to watch the kids by himself before), and I will come with you." Wow God, you're quick! How did you do that?
The next day, we went to the seminar. The seminar was led by a husband and wife team who adopted a son from Russia last year. When I heard the husband say he is a police officer, I nearly fell out of my seat! D is a police officer. This guy works with one of D's friends. So what, you say? Well, in a police officer's mind, that makes all the difference! Being a police officer makes you part of a brotherhood. The members of this brotherhood treat one another with amazing/unquestioning respect, and they deeply identify with one another (I really cannot even explain it fully). God had chosen the perfect person to talk to D about adoption! I spent the rest of the seminar in awe. The couple addressed every adoption fear- in the exact order- that D had expressed in the car on the way to the seminar.
I left the seminar certain this is God's plan for us. D was still fighting the doubt, although I could see the glimmer of acceptance. Over the next few weeks, we decided on the agency we would use and I sent for information. Fear kept cropping up for D. I told him we would not proceed until he felt complete certainty. I encouraged him to pray...
I left D alone for a week or two, and I waited for God to act. Days passed and Satan was beginning to get to me. The fears and doubt began to fill my heart. I could tell the financial burden was stopping D dead in his tracks, and it was starting to frighten me as well. Finally, D came home one day and told me he was certain we should move ahead. He told me that as soon as he had gotten in the car to come home from his sister's house, a Christian financial show was on the radio. His attention was immediately riveted to the radio- the caller was a man with 3 children (just like us). He and his wife were being called to adopt (like us), and he was struggling with the financial side of it all (like D). He said he has very little money in savings and is not well-off (like us). The advisor went on to tell the man that of course he should be a good steward of his finances and not to enter into adoption until he had gone to the Lord in prayer and received confirmation. D was ready to move forward...
That takes us to the present. We have been assigned a caseworker through the agency we have chosen, and we have decided to adopt a little boy from Russia. We are currently getting all of the documents we will need, including passports. We have a social worker who will do our homestudy. The "paper pregnancy" has begun! We have been told that the process will be long and there will be a HUGE amount of paperwork, but we are ready. Whenever I wonder how we will do all of this with 3 young children, jobs, D's graduate work, etc., I am reminded-
NOTHING is impossible with GOD
Praise the Lord for that!
