How are we going to pay for this?

We have often wondered, and still wonder, "how are we going to pay for all this?" Make no bones about it, international adoption is VERY expensive. Especially adoption from Russia (I have often tried to talk God into letting us switch to another country, but He won't budge!). We don't earn a huge income and we have 3 kids (another expensive undertaking), yet we know that God has a plan. Our job is simply to stay on our knees in prayer and keep our ears and hearts open to the Holy Spirit's direction...and TRUST Him! This sounds pretty simple, but we are still learning to do this. Please understand, we are BAD at this. There have been many times when I have questioned God and when I have wanted to turn my back on this call to adopt. One thing I do know is God has been faithful! I just want to share one thing He has led us to so far...

Let me introduce you to our "flip house"

We purchased this house back in March to rehab it. We had prayed for months regarding the financing of our adoption and for months, we felt we had no concrete answer. The only thing I kept getting back after prayer was a feeling that We are supposed to pay for the adoption ourselves (I had always assumed some of the expenses would be paid through adoption grants and loans). I have to admit, I laughed at the idea that we could pay for all of the expenses on our own (I'm sorry, God!). It seemed rediculous!

One day (after I had laughed at this idea for quite some time), my husband came to me and told me he felt strongly we were to buy a house to rehab. I laughed (and cried) at this even harder! I saw lots of issues with this: 1) Where would we get the money? I have serious money control issues and am NOT a risk-taker, 2) Where would we find the time? (My husband was still in grad. school and working full time. I work part-time and we have three children under 6 years of age and summer was approaching- my husband is the one who watches the kids while I work, so what would he do with the kids?), 3) What if we get a referral during the rehab and need to travel to Russia (O.K., that didn't happen!) and 4) My husband had re-done our old house (and did a fabulous job), but that was over a 5 year period...was he really ready for such a challenge?

We prayed over the decision for a week or so and God really gave me peace about it. He put me in my place and impressed upon me that I must allow my husband to be the spiritual leader and provider (I struggle with this too- I am a control freak). I submitted... God provided the way... We bought the house.

It has been several months since then. The house required a complete gut. My husband has had to go to the emergency room twice (God took care of him, though!). The kids have been there so much they cringe when the hear the words "flip house". It has been a LOT of blood, sweat and tears... But through it all, we knew what the purpose was and is. And truthfully, it has brought us closer together. We have bonded over this house. This Sunday is the open house. We have already had a few offers. We should make about one quarter or more of the total cost of the adoption (we have already paid/saved one fifth or so). I honestly don't know how we will pay for the rest of the costs, but I just have to force myself to remember that God WILL provide! It will be sort of weird to not go there to work next week! O.K., God, time to send someone to buy the house!

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:31-34

Here it is...ready for someone to buy it!

Almost two months and nothing...

Well, it's been almost two months since I last posted...I felt sure we would be registered in a region by now but we're not. I have to be perfectly honest and say that I am disappointed. Sometimes I wonder if we will EVER bring our son home. I'm sorry, Lord for thinking that! I know that we WILL! The great news is that Lots of families within our agency are getting referrals and travel dates. Obviously, these are families who have been waiting since before Russia shut down in the spring of 1996, so I am thrilled for them! Even the most notoriously difficult region will be scheduling at least one court date soon, so this is amazing news! The only somewhat scary news today is the Putin has dissolved his cabinet, which may slow the adoption process in Russia yet again in the coming months.

Dear Lord, thank You for the referrals, travel, dates and court dates in Russia. Please continue to encourage the waiting families with movement in Russia- including us, Lord! We praise You that children who have been apart from their forever mommies and daddies will soon be coming home! Please watch over them during this remaining time of waiting and instill peace in the hearts of the parents. Help them to know that Your timing is perfect and that Your will will be done, no matter what stands in the way! Also, please prepare the hearts and minds of the children and the parents for the transition/adjustment process of coming home, as many of these children are not babies anymore and will be much more acutely aware of what is happening to them. In your precious name, Amen

Wow! How scary it must be for a little one to be whisked away by two strangers to an unknown house, in an unknown town. in an unknown country where people don't even speak the language you're used to! I can't even imagine! It's hard for our kids, who have the safety and security of mom and dad, to even change one little thing in their lives. I can't dwell on this issue too much because it makes me cry to think that my son and all of those other kids have to go through that! Yes, they will benefit in the end by having a forever family, but that doesn't erase the trauma. They don't even understand what a family is... I just have to trust in God that He will help all of us through that process and that He will heal our son's emotional wounds along the way. I know He won't be likely to ERASE the scars, though (even though He could). Those scars are what will make our son the man God means for him to be. Still, as a mommy, you want to control the situation and make all of the hurt go away. I need to work hard (even now) to step aside and remember that all children are His- my children are not MINE. I do not have the right or the ability to take care of the situation. And so, I must surrender to Him...

I surrender, Lord!

Love,
Me