Our Last Goodbye

Just a few weeks after my husband and I began our adoption journey in search of our son, we were able to tell my grandma the news in person. She was living in an assisted living home several states away at the time, and she hadn't really been quite herself for a few months, so we weren't sure whether or not she would even understand what we were telling her. When we first arrived, she didn't even remember who we were, and my heart sank... I wanted so badly for her to rejoice with us and for her to truly understand that she would be blessed with another great-grandchild! You see, when she was herself, my grandma would have literally jumped for joy at such news. And a great-grandchild from Russia! She would have found that absolutely thrilling! She would have asked me right then if she could go and tell all of her friends (and anyone else- even perfect strangers- she might meet along the way). That's how my grandma was, full of unconditional love and overflowing pride for her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She never missed an opportunity to tell everyone about all of us- never in a boastful way, rather in the sweetest and most infectious giggly way. I wish I could have bottled that giggle! And the way her beautiful eyes lit up and sparkled like bright sunlight on crystal blue water...

But on the day I had the opportunity to tell her about our son, I thought I would not get the chance to hear that giggle, nor the chance to see that sparkle. But then, something amazing happened. I saw and sensed a glimmer of my grandma... Maybe it was something in her eyes, or something she said. I really don't remember. All I do remember is I decided to tell her. I smiled at my husband, and he nodded in agreement. He had sensed it too. So I leaned in close, and told my grandma that we were planning to adopt; that she would have a great-grandchild from Russia. She smiled and turned to look at me, and I saw it! That sparkle! What a beautiful sight that was. Then I saw a tear slide silently down her cheek.

What an incredible gift God gave me day. I knew as we drove away that that would be the last time I would ever get to talk to my grandma. I have seen her since, but that was the last time she was ever really herself. I also sensed that she would pass from this world just before it was time to bring our son home. My grandma passed away last Thursday. We got our court date today. Just enough time to say goodbye before beginning to prepare to go to Russia to bring our son home to his forever family. Thank you, Lord, for your perfect timing...

We will miss you dearly, Grandma. Our son will hear so many wonderful stories about you. And best of all, he will hear about how much he was loved and wanted by a great-grandma he never even knew.