This movie looks like it will be AMAZING! I can't wait to see it!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Sweetest of Firsts
Just wanted to share two really awesome things that have happened in the past week or two...
1) When we were in the parking lot a few days ago, Caleb reached for my hand and held it tightly all on his own. He even looked up at me with a big, sweet smile. This was the first time he has ever reached for my hand. For the past year, the parking lot has been a huge cause of contention between us, and I usually end up carrying him because he refuses to walk with me or hold my hand (he prefers to run at full tilt with reckless abandon). I have lived in daily fear of my son getting hit by a car for over a year now. Even if he continues to refuse to hold my hand in the future, at least I can hold on to the memory of C CHOOSING to happily and sweetly hold my hand in the parking lot.
2) Last week, C walked right up to me and out of the blue said, 'I love you, Mama" to me and looked right into my eyes with a big adorable smile on his face... he added to the sweetness of the moment by wrapping his arms around me and giving me a long, meaningful hug. This is the first time he has ever told me he loves me on his own. Talk about melting my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) When we were in the parking lot a few days ago, Caleb reached for my hand and held it tightly all on his own. He even looked up at me with a big, sweet smile. This was the first time he has ever reached for my hand. For the past year, the parking lot has been a huge cause of contention between us, and I usually end up carrying him because he refuses to walk with me or hold my hand (he prefers to run at full tilt with reckless abandon). I have lived in daily fear of my son getting hit by a car for over a year now. Even if he continues to refuse to hold my hand in the future, at least I can hold on to the memory of C CHOOSING to happily and sweetly hold my hand in the parking lot.
2) Last week, C walked right up to me and out of the blue said, 'I love you, Mama" to me and looked right into my eyes with a big adorable smile on his face... he added to the sweetness of the moment by wrapping his arms around me and giving me a long, meaningful hug. This is the first time he has ever told me he loves me on his own. Talk about melting my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Summer Wrap-Up
Ashley climbing again- her arm is all better!
Andrew at the park
Caleb loves to go down the slide!
A day at our local zoo- they just added an entire section called "Africa"
All of the kids were so excited to be so close to the giraffes
I love when I get a pic I like of all four!
The tigers were actually moving and roaring quite a bit
Awwww! I love this one ;0)
Andrew and Riley coming down the waterslide at a local waterpark
Andrew
Andrew
Riley
Andrew, Ashley, Eryn and Riley
Birthday morning- Ashley and Riley turned 7!
Andrew got a new hat
A & R decorated their own cakes- a birthday tradition
American Girl in Chicago- Ashley and Riley's birthday wish come true :0)
Riley with her first American Girl!
It was fun to have Grandma and Grandpa there!
Ashley and Riley at American Girl
RileyWe've had an awesome summer! I just cannot believe Caleb has already spent two summers here! What a blessing it is to watch our kids learn and grow.
It is also just a little sad sometimes :0)
School starts next week, so now it's time to get ready for a wild and VERY busy fall!
Stay tuned!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
A New Light
Today, I spent some time organizing all of our random electronics stuff. As I was doing this, I realized we have never shown the girls the videos from our second trip to Russia last May/June. I also realized that D and I have never watched the video we took in Russia on our second trip. On top of that, we have never watched any of the video taken on our video camera since then. As soon as I mentioned that fact out loud to Ashley, she begged me to let her watch the videos, So, of course, we watched them.... Caleb included. I cannot believe we have never watched any of this footage before. Caleb has been home for more than a year, after all! The first year really was a blur. I'm so glad we got it all on video.
Just what have we been doing?!?!?!?!?
After watching the videos, I was amazed. We have been doing soooo much! God has really been here and moving! Wow! I truly had forgotten just what C was like back then. I can't tell you how many times our therapist has said, "whenever you're feeling discouraged, don't focus on the problems you are still having, focus on how far you have come". Sounds logical, but that is so hard to do! So many days over the past year, Caleb just hasn't seemed happy. Some days, he seemed to spend ALL of his energy just pushing me away. How exhausting for a little guy! I would often ask myself (and God), "How can I show him that I love him? How can I teach him what love even IS if he won't let me in?".
I have worried and prayed and I have worried and prayed some more. I know things would have been easier if I had not indulged in the worrying thing. The truth is, though, I am a human being, and parenting a post-institutionalized child is difficult, scary and confusing. I have parented 3 other children, but just about everything I know and everything I trusted flew out the window the day C came home. For the first 2 years of his life, C did not know love. He did not know trust. He did not know much comfort He did not know touch. Especially in his first few weeks of life, touch from a grown-up came only in the form of a stick of a needle or some other uncomfortable or painful thing. Survival for him meant not allowing himself to rely on others... not allowing himself to create a bond with someone who surely would be gone soon enough. We have spent the past year chiseling away, ever so slowly, at that thick protective layer. There have been times the layer I had just chipped off has regrown, and I have had to chip through it yet again. So many times, I honestly thought we would never get anywhere... that we had not moved forward much at all.
Little did I know, we were always moving forward... I was just so deeply engrossed in the fine details that I could not see the whole picture.
Well, today I saw it, and it was amazing. I can now see Caleb's progress in a new light. The little boy in the videos is no longer. He has been replaced by a little boy who can love and trust. Who WANTS to love and trust most of the time. He no longer separates himself in a world of his very own. I know we still have a lot of work to (patiently!) do, but I also know the contrast between then and now is striking.
Even when it seemed as though C was not embracing the love we were so desperately trying to give, Jesus was there. Despite all of our inadequacies as parents, He continued to love us and gently guide us. He also continued to open C's heart. I know we often veered onto the wrong path, and that we will continue to do more of the same. Despite all of that, He will always gently nudge us back onto the path He would have for us to follow.
I am so glad we watched those videos today.
"God is our refuge and strength,
An ever-present help in trouble"
Psalms 46:1
Just what have we been doing?!?!?!?!?
After watching the videos, I was amazed. We have been doing soooo much! God has really been here and moving! Wow! I truly had forgotten just what C was like back then. I can't tell you how many times our therapist has said, "whenever you're feeling discouraged, don't focus on the problems you are still having, focus on how far you have come". Sounds logical, but that is so hard to do! So many days over the past year, Caleb just hasn't seemed happy. Some days, he seemed to spend ALL of his energy just pushing me away. How exhausting for a little guy! I would often ask myself (and God), "How can I show him that I love him? How can I teach him what love even IS if he won't let me in?".
I have worried and prayed and I have worried and prayed some more. I know things would have been easier if I had not indulged in the worrying thing. The truth is, though, I am a human being, and parenting a post-institutionalized child is difficult, scary and confusing. I have parented 3 other children, but just about everything I know and everything I trusted flew out the window the day C came home. For the first 2 years of his life, C did not know love. He did not know trust. He did not know much comfort He did not know touch. Especially in his first few weeks of life, touch from a grown-up came only in the form of a stick of a needle or some other uncomfortable or painful thing. Survival for him meant not allowing himself to rely on others... not allowing himself to create a bond with someone who surely would be gone soon enough. We have spent the past year chiseling away, ever so slowly, at that thick protective layer. There have been times the layer I had just chipped off has regrown, and I have had to chip through it yet again. So many times, I honestly thought we would never get anywhere... that we had not moved forward much at all.
Little did I know, we were always moving forward... I was just so deeply engrossed in the fine details that I could not see the whole picture.
Well, today I saw it, and it was amazing. I can now see Caleb's progress in a new light. The little boy in the videos is no longer. He has been replaced by a little boy who can love and trust. Who WANTS to love and trust most of the time. He no longer separates himself in a world of his very own. I know we still have a lot of work to (patiently!) do, but I also know the contrast between then and now is striking.
Even when it seemed as though C was not embracing the love we were so desperately trying to give, Jesus was there. Despite all of our inadequacies as parents, He continued to love us and gently guide us. He also continued to open C's heart. I know we often veered onto the wrong path, and that we will continue to do more of the same. Despite all of that, He will always gently nudge us back onto the path He would have for us to follow.
I am so glad we watched those videos today.
"God is our refuge and strength,
An ever-present help in trouble"
Psalms 46:1
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