Well, I was hoping my next blog would be the announcement that we received our petition to court, but that STILL has not come... Please pray that it comes soon!
Anyway, a big praise is I have re-joined the land of the living! I have had the flu for the past week - uughhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then that turned into bronchitis (yippee). It was awful! I haven't been that sick since college! First the kids all had it, and then D and I got it. Praise God the kids all made it through in just a few days. D and I are another story, but we are recovering slowly. I never thought I would be so thrilled just to be able to do laundry! I did three loads last night (that made just a small dent in it, but you gotta start somewhere, right?) and it was so wonderful! I hope to hold onto my newfound joy of doing housework!
And on to the biggest praise...
I want to say a very special thank you the people who have contributed to our adoption over the past few weeks. The prayers and the financial gifts have been pouring in and we are truly awed and humbled by it all. We have been overwhelmed by the number of people God has drawn into bringing our son home. Originally we kept this adoption and our feelings fairly private and that is how we had planned on keeping it. Why? I don't know... I think we just felt too vulnerable. But God made it clear he had a very different plan- his plans are always better, aren't they? I'm so glad he didn't let us do this our way!
When we returned home from Russia in December, we did not know how we would make it through this time of waiting. It became abundantly clear very quickly that we could not and cannot do this alone. So many people have surrounded us and prayed with / for us since then. We are so grateful to all of you for being "God with skin on" to us. You have carried us through and we know you will continue to hold us up through it all, no matter how long the wait turns out to be. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts! We thank God for you every day!
Thank you, God, for your PERFECT plan!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
My prayers have been answered
I received this in an E-mail today (thanks Shelly!), and it struck a chord with me.
I asked for strength, and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom, and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity, and God gave me brawn and brain to work.
I asked for courage, and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience, and God gave me situations in which I was forced to wait.
I asked for love, and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favor, and God gave me opportunity.
I have received nothing I wanted.
I have received everything I needed.
My prayers have been answered.
Author Unknown
As soon as I read this, I thought back to 2 1/2 years ago... I had spent quite some time asking God to use me for something, to take me out of my comfort zone. His answer to my request:
YOUR SON IS OUT THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND YOU NEED TO GO GET HIM
I have to be honest, I balked at this. It all sounded too hard, too scary, too everything!
This adoption process has taken me soooooo very far out of my comfort zone. I have asked God for all of the things listed above so many times over (every day the requests change). In addition, God has given me all of the things/situations listed above. Just as our own children learn by doing, God knows we are the same.
People say I am such a blessing to my son, that I am so wonderful for adopting.
I say they have it backward.
My son has already blessed me more than I could ever imagine, and he is not even home yet.
And so the only wording I would change above would be this:
I had no idea what I was asking for.
I have received a most amazing blessing, and he is so much more than I would have ever imagined!
My prayers HAVE been answered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked for strength, and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom, and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity, and God gave me brawn and brain to work.
I asked for courage, and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience, and God gave me situations in which I was forced to wait.
I asked for love, and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favor, and God gave me opportunity.
I have received nothing I wanted.
I have received everything I needed.
My prayers have been answered.
Author Unknown
As soon as I read this, I thought back to 2 1/2 years ago... I had spent quite some time asking God to use me for something, to take me out of my comfort zone. His answer to my request:
YOUR SON IS OUT THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND YOU NEED TO GO GET HIM
I have to be honest, I balked at this. It all sounded too hard, too scary, too everything!
This adoption process has taken me soooooo very far out of my comfort zone. I have asked God for all of the things listed above so many times over (every day the requests change). In addition, God has given me all of the things/situations listed above. Just as our own children learn by doing, God knows we are the same.
People say I am such a blessing to my son, that I am so wonderful for adopting.
I say they have it backward.
My son has already blessed me more than I could ever imagine, and he is not even home yet.
And so the only wording I would change above would be this:
I had no idea what I was asking for.
I have received a most amazing blessing, and he is so much more than I would have ever imagined!
My prayers HAVE been answered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
My Valentine, My Best Friend
Let me tell you about my Valentine... Just to clarify, I am referring to my husband, of course (no jokes Marci- this is serious stuff!).
My Valentine asked me to marry him exactly 10 years ago yesterday (in Cinderella's Castle!). That was an amazing moment! In the 10 years since that moment, my husband has been so much more of a blessing than I ever imagined a husband could be.
He is my hero.
He is a hero for our kids.
He is my best friend.
He is silly (sooooo silly!).
He makes me laugh.
He is loyal.
He is an amazing daddy.
He loves God and pursues a relationship with him.
He is a great friend to others.
He risks his life everyday to protect others.
He is humble.
He is tender-hearted.
He never complains.
He strong.
He is smart.
He is always looking for ways to improve himself.
He is driven.
He is a hard worker.
He is honest.
He adores his family.
He wrestles with his son even when he is tired.
He tells his daughters they are princesses.
He is my cheerleader when I feel defeated.
He tells me I am beautiful.
On top of all of that, he loves his little boy on the other side of the world so much, he would do anything for him. I am constantly amazed by his will and determination. Nothing stops him or even deters him for a moment. He has driven endless miles (most of them through snow and ice) to collect documents to complete this adoption. He has begged complete strangers for help in obtaining documents. He has only grown stronger as the challenges mount. He travelled to the other side of the world, to a foreign place, to meet his son- even though he has told me many times in the past he would never EVER travel to any foreign country. And I could go on...
My Valentine is amazing! He brings blessings to my life, and to the lives around him, every single day.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to my forever Valentine!
My Valentine asked me to marry him exactly 10 years ago yesterday (in Cinderella's Castle!). That was an amazing moment! In the 10 years since that moment, my husband has been so much more of a blessing than I ever imagined a husband could be.
He is my hero.
He is a hero for our kids.
He is my best friend.
He is silly (sooooo silly!).
He makes me laugh.
He is loyal.
He is an amazing daddy.
He loves God and pursues a relationship with him.
He is a great friend to others.
He risks his life everyday to protect others.
He is humble.
He is tender-hearted.
He never complains.
He strong.
He is smart.
He is always looking for ways to improve himself.
He is driven.
He is a hard worker.
He is honest.
He adores his family.
He wrestles with his son even when he is tired.
He tells his daughters they are princesses.
He is my cheerleader when I feel defeated.
He tells me I am beautiful.
On top of all of that, he loves his little boy on the other side of the world so much, he would do anything for him. I am constantly amazed by his will and determination. Nothing stops him or even deters him for a moment. He has driven endless miles (most of them through snow and ice) to collect documents to complete this adoption. He has begged complete strangers for help in obtaining documents. He has only grown stronger as the challenges mount. He travelled to the other side of the world, to a foreign place, to meet his son- even though he has told me many times in the past he would never EVER travel to any foreign country. And I could go on...
My Valentine is amazing! He brings blessings to my life, and to the lives around him, every single day.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to my forever Valentine!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Adoption Rollercoaster
Just sitting here reading a post of a fellow adoptive family in our region. They had a successful court today, so they are now the proud parents of two boys! I am thrilled for them! How awesome! This news gives me chills and a feeling of pure joy! Those two boys have a forever mommy and daddy now!
Reading this news even a week ago, I would have immediately wondered when WE will have a court date, but God has really granted me contentment, peace, and joy over the past week or so. All of the feelings of sorrow and fear have been completely lifted from my heart and mind. I am so grateful! I have cried and worried enough! My husband needs a wife and my kids need a mommy who can really be present for them and with them. Don't get me wrong, I still miss C terribly and I would go to Russia this very second to bring him home if it were up to me. But it isn't up to me. That really is so freeing. I have finally come to completely accept God's timeline now, whatever it is. He is the designer of the plan.
One of my girlfriends always draws pictures of a rollercoaster to represent life. She has done this since we were teenagers. If I'm going through a difficult time, she draws me in the car at the bottom of the hill with an arrow pointing to it, saying "You are here :0(". Then there will be an arrow pointing to the top of the hill and it reads something like, "Soon you will be here :0)". It's totally corny, and she is NO artist, but it has always made feel better! Praise God for silly and loving girlfriends!
The adoption journey fits the rollercoaster illustration perfectly. There is anticipation, excitement, suspense, fear, highs, lows, and pure joy. Riding a rollercoaster requires complete trust and surrender. Funny, I always just climb right on, never questioning who designed the ride, how well it was built, or who will be operating it. Wish I could be so unquestioning and full of faith when it comes to life in general (LOL)!
There is someone not visible in my rollercoaster picture, but I know He's there. Not only did He plan and engineer the ride, He is operating it. And last, but not least, He is sitting right next to me too! Rollercoasters are so much more fun if you have a friend to laugh and scream with. Thank you Jesus for being that friend. Thank you for holding my hand and calming my fears. When this ride is over, we will run excitedly together to the next ride of life, and we will go up and down all over again- TOGETHER!
Reading this news even a week ago, I would have immediately wondered when WE will have a court date, but God has really granted me contentment, peace, and joy over the past week or so. All of the feelings of sorrow and fear have been completely lifted from my heart and mind. I am so grateful! I have cried and worried enough! My husband needs a wife and my kids need a mommy who can really be present for them and with them. Don't get me wrong, I still miss C terribly and I would go to Russia this very second to bring him home if it were up to me. But it isn't up to me. That really is so freeing. I have finally come to completely accept God's timeline now, whatever it is. He is the designer of the plan.
One of my girlfriends always draws pictures of a rollercoaster to represent life. She has done this since we were teenagers. If I'm going through a difficult time, she draws me in the car at the bottom of the hill with an arrow pointing to it, saying "You are here :0(". Then there will be an arrow pointing to the top of the hill and it reads something like, "Soon you will be here :0)". It's totally corny, and she is NO artist, but it has always made feel better! Praise God for silly and loving girlfriends!
The adoption journey fits the rollercoaster illustration perfectly. There is anticipation, excitement, suspense, fear, highs, lows, and pure joy. Riding a rollercoaster requires complete trust and surrender. Funny, I always just climb right on, never questioning who designed the ride, how well it was built, or who will be operating it. Wish I could be so unquestioning and full of faith when it comes to life in general (LOL)!
There is someone not visible in my rollercoaster picture, but I know He's there. Not only did He plan and engineer the ride, He is operating it. And last, but not least, He is sitting right next to me too! Rollercoasters are so much more fun if you have a friend to laugh and scream with. Thank you Jesus for being that friend. Thank you for holding my hand and calming my fears. When this ride is over, we will run excitedly together to the next ride of life, and we will go up and down all over again- TOGETHER!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Brrrrrrrrr!
Can't write for very long tonight, 'cuz I'm still digging our house out of the disaster that was created by several days of snow and extremely cold weather! Well... it was really created by the the people who live in this house, and I am one of those people. Actually, I didn't create most of it, I just didn't do my usual run-around-and-clean-up-after-everyone-and-never-sit-down-Mommy-thing this weekend.
Have you ever noticed that it is extremely difficult to get up and DO anything when it is only 2 degrees outside? O.K. all of you California, Texas, and down south people: don't you dare answer that! Anyway, we have a gas fireplace, and I just cannot rip myself away from it when it is so cold out! We did go out to church this morning (wind chill of negative something), and it was sooooooo cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do people live in Siberia? I truly do not know. Crazy thing, though, it is colder here today than it is in Siberia right now. As far as I can remember, that is the first time that has happened since we came back from Russia in December! Brrrrrr!
Gotta go and fold laundry- I brought it upstairs so I can fold it in front of the fire! "Little House on the Prairie" style!
Have you ever noticed that it is extremely difficult to get up and DO anything when it is only 2 degrees outside? O.K. all of you California, Texas, and down south people: don't you dare answer that! Anyway, we have a gas fireplace, and I just cannot rip myself away from it when it is so cold out! We did go out to church this morning (wind chill of negative something), and it was sooooooo cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do people live in Siberia? I truly do not know. Crazy thing, though, it is colder here today than it is in Siberia right now. As far as I can remember, that is the first time that has happened since we came back from Russia in December! Brrrrrr!
Gotta go and fold laundry- I brought it upstairs so I can fold it in front of the fire! "Little House on the Prairie" style!
Friday, February 08, 2008
A gift of love that will carry us through
The last time I saw my son, he was being led by the hand out of the visiting playroom of the orphanage by one of his caregivers. It all happened so quickly. Bless his little heart, he did not know what was happening. I am so glad he did not, because he left his mommy and daddy behind, and we were fighting back tears. We left the orphanage speaking very little, trying so hard not to cry in front of the translator and the facilitators. I had to turn my back in the parking lot for a moment to get myself together before getting into the van to leave.
That was just the beginning of me trying to keep myself together...
We had not been prepared for how hard it would be to leave him. I guess this is mainly because we had not been prepared for how immediately those deep feelings of love would come. We had wondered beforehand, would we "know" right away, or would our maternal/paternal feelings take time to grow? How would we feel? What would meeting him be like? So many questions.
These questions were answered sooner than we had expected. While we were in the orphanage director's office (about 15 minutes before we were scheduled to meet our son), the door flew open and there was our son, standing just a few feet from us. Oh my... my heart... I cannot even find the words. D turned to me and said, "That's him! That's our son!" I could not breathe. We were both stunned with the absolute recognition...no, stunned is not even the word. The moment we saw his precious face, we knew what we had longed to know. Everything else faded away. This was our son! We had loved him and known him all along! Our hearts had been prepared for this moment. As soon as he was standing there in front of us, the floodgates to our guarded hearts broke open, and the love for him was allowed to flow freely. I had not realized beforehand how much we had subconciously suppressed our feelings. For two years, we had been pushing them away, afraid we were crazy, I guess. Afraid that maybe we were just imagining we had a son out there. Afraid that this day would never really come. And yet, there he was, right in front of us! All I can say is that day will go down in the books as one of the best days of our lives. Such an amazing gift and miracle!
Now that we know our son's name, his face, his laugh, and his little personality, this journey has changed in so many ways. The lows are so much lower, and the highs are so much higher. We wait with baited breath for that moment, the moment when we are told we can go back to Russia and bring him home, where he belongs. Every moment could be "THE moment". Having a child on the other side of the world who is not allowed to come home is a heartwrenching thing. And yet, we are full of joy, our hearts overflowing with love for the little miracle who is our son. This gift of love is what will carry us through until he can come home to his forever family.
That was just the beginning of me trying to keep myself together...
We had not been prepared for how hard it would be to leave him. I guess this is mainly because we had not been prepared for how immediately those deep feelings of love would come. We had wondered beforehand, would we "know" right away, or would our maternal/paternal feelings take time to grow? How would we feel? What would meeting him be like? So many questions.
These questions were answered sooner than we had expected. While we were in the orphanage director's office (about 15 minutes before we were scheduled to meet our son), the door flew open and there was our son, standing just a few feet from us. Oh my... my heart... I cannot even find the words. D turned to me and said, "That's him! That's our son!" I could not breathe. We were both stunned with the absolute recognition...no, stunned is not even the word. The moment we saw his precious face, we knew what we had longed to know. Everything else faded away. This was our son! We had loved him and known him all along! Our hearts had been prepared for this moment. As soon as he was standing there in front of us, the floodgates to our guarded hearts broke open, and the love for him was allowed to flow freely. I had not realized beforehand how much we had subconciously suppressed our feelings. For two years, we had been pushing them away, afraid we were crazy, I guess. Afraid that maybe we were just imagining we had a son out there. Afraid that this day would never really come. And yet, there he was, right in front of us! All I can say is that day will go down in the books as one of the best days of our lives. Such an amazing gift and miracle!
Now that we know our son's name, his face, his laugh, and his little personality, this journey has changed in so many ways. The lows are so much lower, and the highs are so much higher. We wait with baited breath for that moment, the moment when we are told we can go back to Russia and bring him home, where he belongs. Every moment could be "THE moment". Having a child on the other side of the world who is not allowed to come home is a heartwrenching thing. And yet, we are full of joy, our hearts overflowing with love for the little miracle who is our son. This gift of love is what will carry us through until he can come home to his forever family.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Ice sculptures
I don't have anything new to tell today, so I thought I would post some cool pictures of the ice sculptures that were in the square right outside of our hotel in Siberia. They are carved with scenes depicting the history and origins of the city. Our translator told us the ice blocks are cut from the river and carved right there in the square. If you look closely, you will see D and me standing on the sculpture in the first picture. This will give you an idea of the size of the sculptures- they were HUGE!!!! There were men carving some of the sculptures that night, so we got to watch how it is done. Wow! It was amazing! We would have stayed out longer, but we were freezing (shocking, I know!) and very tired. We had to get up at 4:30 the next morning to travel to the airport :0( **yawn!**
Monday, February 04, 2008
Snow Days!
The past few days have been lots of fun! It has snowed a total of about 10 inches or so over the past few days, so the kids are in heaven! Our Siberian baby will fit right in here! School was cancelled on Friday, so the past few days have been full of playing in the snow and sledding (with a lot of hot chocolate warming breaks in between- marshmellows incuded, of course!). Daddy even built an igloo/tunnel, so the kids were just thrilled with that!
Today was back to business as usual, but Mr. Groundhog says there will be plenty more winter yet to come! The kids will be holding him to his prediction!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Thinking About Peter...
I have to be honest... I have allowed fear and frustration to creep into my heart over the past few days. It began on Thursday, when we got an E-mail saying we need to turn in 3 more documents before we can get a court date (still waiting for the petition to court too, although our FC said she expects this to come soon). None of these docs were on any of our lists, so I was frustrated by that. They are not hard to get, though, and it is not uncommon for the court to ask for more documents even after you think you are "done" with paperwork. I'll just be honest, even though I knew this would probably happen, it is still a letdown. And this probably isn't the last time it will happen.
There are several other things I have heard/read today pertaining to court dates in our region that certainly have not helped my frame of mind, but I won't go into detail about those things.
**SIGH!!**
O.K., so you can tell I struggle with the unknown. I think most human beings do, but I am VERY guilty of that. I really struggle with that. I like to have lists and then cross off all of the items on the list. I like to have my calendar filled up with certain dates and plans several months ahead. I am that kind of person. I am a planner. and yet, I am constantly reminded, that is not at all how this adventure works. I do not get to plan ANY of it.
I had my lists crossed off and they keep giving me new ones. I have my calendar filled up, except it is missing one very important date... the date C will be allowed to physically become a part of our family. I wonder when I will get to write that date on the calendar? Sometimes I cannot stop myself from thinking "What if we NEVER get a court date?" In the world of Russian adoption, this is not completely far-fetched.
And then I think of Peter.
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake,
they were terrified.
"It's a ghost", they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid"
"Lord, if it's you, Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water"
"Come", he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out,
"Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
"You of little faith", he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying,
"Truly you are the son of God."
Matthew 14:25-32
Peter initially acted in faith by walking on the water toward Jesus, but started to sink when he allowed fear to overtake him. After all, people can't walk on water! But he forgot that people with GOD can! I often feel like this adoption process is just as impossible as walking on water, and yet here we are. I used to even think it would be impossible for us to figure out where to find our son (after all, the world is a big place), and yet God led us right to him! What do I know?...
Peter did the right thing by asking Jesus for help when he was afraid, but think about how much more amazing the experience would have been if he had completely trusted Jesus and walked on water WITHOUT FEAR! Lack of fear through the adoption process would certainly be amazing!
Notice that while Jesus did correct Peter's thinking, he still reached out his hand and caught him before the water overtook him. Wow! He has done that for me so many times... and then set me right back on the path that leads to my son!
I'm so glad I don't have to look at the scary waves around me!
There are several other things I have heard/read today pertaining to court dates in our region that certainly have not helped my frame of mind, but I won't go into detail about those things.
**SIGH!!**
O.K., so you can tell I struggle with the unknown. I think most human beings do, but I am VERY guilty of that. I really struggle with that. I like to have lists and then cross off all of the items on the list. I like to have my calendar filled up with certain dates and plans several months ahead. I am that kind of person. I am a planner. and yet, I am constantly reminded, that is not at all how this adventure works. I do not get to plan ANY of it.
I had my lists crossed off and they keep giving me new ones. I have my calendar filled up, except it is missing one very important date... the date C will be allowed to physically become a part of our family. I wonder when I will get to write that date on the calendar? Sometimes I cannot stop myself from thinking "What if we NEVER get a court date?" In the world of Russian adoption, this is not completely far-fetched.
And then I think of Peter.
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake,
they were terrified.
"It's a ghost", they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid"
"Lord, if it's you, Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water"
"Come", he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out,
"Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
"You of little faith", he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying,
"Truly you are the son of God."
Matthew 14:25-32
Peter initially acted in faith by walking on the water toward Jesus, but started to sink when he allowed fear to overtake him. After all, people can't walk on water! But he forgot that people with GOD can! I often feel like this adoption process is just as impossible as walking on water, and yet here we are. I used to even think it would be impossible for us to figure out where to find our son (after all, the world is a big place), and yet God led us right to him! What do I know?...
Peter did the right thing by asking Jesus for help when he was afraid, but think about how much more amazing the experience would have been if he had completely trusted Jesus and walked on water WITHOUT FEAR! Lack of fear through the adoption process would certainly be amazing!
Notice that while Jesus did correct Peter's thinking, he still reached out his hand and caught him before the water overtook him. Wow! He has done that for me so many times... and then set me right back on the path that leads to my son!
I'm so glad I don't have to look at the scary waves around me!
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