Lots Go'in On!

Wow! I didn't realize it had been so long since my last entry until I logged on just now! Time flies when you're a Mommy! The past few weeks have flown more quickly than any I can ever recall. I have been completely absorbed in trying to savor every precious, fleeting moment. Here's a re-cap...

*My baby girls turned 6 (Mommy cried)! :0) :0( As a result of this event, C learned what a present is, and he discovered he really likes cake and ice cream (he HATED ice cream the first time we offered it to him in Russia).

*One of our presents to the girls was a trip to the water park. C had a blast!

*Grandma and Grandpa came to visit, so C met his other Grandpa for the first time.

*C had his little boy surgery- he was not feeling so great for a few days, but is back to his crazy/wild self now!

*We had a fun last week before school started, including back-to-school shopping and C's first trip to the zoo (he was in awe the entire time and still has not stopped talking about it).

*Today C watched his brother and both of his sisters get on a big yellow bus that took them away for the entire day- he was a little confused at first, but seemed to really enjoyed being able to do whatever he pleased all day!

Here some pics...

C having a blast at a local water park

Beans had fun too- pretty obvious!

Ash- ever ready for the photo-op
A almost never stopped- lucky I got this one!

Ash and Beans' friend party

C had his first PlayPlace experience- he jumped right in!

Ash and Beans are 6!

The zoo

Beans and C at the zoo

First day of school

A and C

A New Day, A New Hope

Today was a new day... and I thank God for that. The past 2 years have been quite a rollercoaster and the past 2 months have had the highest highs and the lowest lows of the entire ride. Not that I ever would have wanted to have it any other way. My son is home and he is a gift.

God never said this would be easy, though. The truth is, there have been some very difficult times for me. I have had many moments of complete despair, when the enemy takes hold of my mind and my heart and tells me I am not good enough... that my son will never learn to trust in my love for him... that God is done helping us. In these moments, all of my old fears surface, and I allow myself to carry the the weight of my son's hurts and needs on my own shoulders. And when I do that, my fears come true. I cannot do this alone. I will not succeed. Without God's help I CANNOT.

Last night was one of those times. C was HORRIBLE at bedtime... again. I felt so helpless. I prayed for God to find me in the darkness. I begged Him to give me patience and to help me find a way to get through to C. I felt no patience and I heard no answers....

But this morning, I woke up and felt brand new! He did not forsake me! Last night I truly believed I should give up and not push my son for a deeper attachment. Clearly, God has a different idea. He is NOT done helping us. Today He gave me confidence. I never heard God tell me it would be alright, but I FELT it. And tonight, He gave me even more.

I hit my elbow on the wall as I was rocking C tonight. All of a sudden, he whipped his binky out of his mouth and popped it into mine (it was so sweet, it was easy to ignore the slobber!). Then, he held my face in his hands and said, "Mama, cry? Mima, no cry. " He was saying I could have his binky to feel better, because he was O.K.! Then he wrapped his arms around me tightly and said "lub oo, Mama" After that, he snuggled in my arms and looked at me so intently. I told him in Russian that I am his Mama forever and that I will always love him. I know he doesn't really know what forever means, but I can tell you that I have never seen such a look of contentment on his face. I nearly burst into tears of joy right then! I think C is finally starting to really know what a Mother's love should feel like... warm and safe. He is finally letting himself truly enjoy the feeling.

What a blessing today turned out to be.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning"
Lamentations 3:22-23a

"My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:26

Fun in the pool!

Here is a video and some great pics from today. As I have mentioned before, C just LOVES the water :0)

Lunchtime cut short

C just couldn't make it through lunch today :0)

Attachment Journal- Entry #1

C is changing so fast and I feel like I am already starting to forget what he was like when we first took him out of the orphanage, so I've decided to start an "attachment journal". Not only will it help me to really see how he has changed (and to really celebrate the work God is doing in his heart , as well in our hearts), but maybe it can even serve to help others. Even though we are by no means experts, sometimes it just helps to know you are not alone...


WEEK #1

The day we picked C up from the orphanage, we noticed several behaviors we had read about during the 2 years we had spent preparing to bring C into our family.

Playing
We noticed right away that C always played in a corner or behind a piece of furniture. He would play with us for a few minutes, but would then retreat to a "safe" zone. We countered this by gently encouraging him to come back into the open to play (even encouragement in Russian didn't usually work, so we then would have to carry him back to the play area). We then would stop whatever we were doing to engage him in play out in the open, so he could see that no one would take anything from him We had to do this repeatedly the first few days, until he eventually realized that he didn't have to hide to play with his toys- of course this was obvious to us, but it was so ingrained in him to feel threatened, he did this even though no one ever took his toys when he was with us.
Playing now
C never hides to play now. In fact, he usually prefers to play near / with me or one of his siblings. I have not seen him hide to play since the first week we were home. We have a toy here (we did not have it with us in Russia) that is the exact same as one C played with during our visits to C in the orphanage. The first time he played with it here is the only time I have seen this behavior since we came home.


Eating- Just a few hours after we picked C up and brought him back to the hotel, it was time for dinner. We had already seen his eating style in the orphanage, so we were prepared for this one. Basically, C ate all of his food within seconds without ever even breathing or chewing (slight exaggeration there, just to make my point) and he would eat a staggering amount. On top of that, it was pretty clear that he would have eaten even more had he been given the opportunity.
Oh, and... early on, if he had the chance, he would take his food and go to a far corner (he would even face the wall) to eat.
We had read that a great way to teach a child to enjoy eating and to stop when he is full is to feed him (not allow him to feed himself). To enhance bonding, the child ,must make eye contact with the parent before the next bite is placed in his mouth. This sounds contrary to the general advice for feeding time with a toddler, but we had to realize that eating has always been a desperate and rushed occasion for our son. He had never been taught that eating should be a relaxed and pleasant time- and also a time to share with those who are close to you. So we fed him, just as one would feed a spoon-fed baby.
The results?
Eating now
The results of this method were extremely successful very quickly (in our case). By the end of the first week, C's eating speed had slowed and the amount had been reduced to what would be considered a normal amount. It is common now for him to leave food on his plate and tell us he is full. Obviously, a big part of the success was simply C realizing that there was more than enough food at every meal, and that he didn't enjoy feeling so bloated all of the time! The big success, as far as bonding goes, is that this method allowed C to interact with us while he ate. He began to talk to us during meals and after the first week, he would even initiate eye-contact with us. It took several more weeks for him to consistently remember to chew his food. We would always require him to show us that he had chewed and swallowed all of his food before he could have another bite. Sometimes he still has to be reminded!
The only issue we still struggle with is drinking. C would drink an entire river every day if we let him! We have to limit his drinking to the amount his diapers (mixed in with a little peeing on the potty throughout the day) can handle. Clearly he is drinking PLENTY, but he still begs for a drink just about all day every day. It's obvious he is not really thirsty, because he will drop it right away if I just tell him no and distract him. He doesn't ask again until he sees someone drinking something. The sight of the refrigerator open will also cause him to start begging again.


Sleeping- Week one taught us that C did not like to be touched at bedtime (in fact, he flat-out refused any touch and would push whatever was touching him away- even if he seemed to be asleep). Clearly, his reasons for this were obvious, yet this was the hardest behavior to deal with. How do you soothe a toddler who cannot settle down at night and who is terrified, no less, if you cannot touch him?????? Very tough one...
The first night required holding time (holding C lovingly, but firmly) until he fell asleep because he kept trying to leave the hotel room (all the while saying "edom, edom", which means "go, go" in Russian). The remainder of the nights the first week, C would allow me to read him a 1-2 minute story (while he wiggled relentlessly on my lap). I could then hold him briefly (usually while he screamed bloody murder) in a darkened room before he would start to beg for his bed. He didn't even know to wrap his arms and legs around me when I was holding him, so I would have to position his limbs for him- he HATED this. He also arched his back violently. Eventually (sooner, rather than later- before he made me drop him), I would put him in his empty crib, and I would have to tell him sternly in Russian that it was time for bed and that he must lie down. He could not have any sheets, blankets, etc. because he would wrap these around his head or he would make a hill out of them (he would even pull the fitted sheet off of the mattress) and then lie on his back on top of the hill. After just a minute or so, C would stand up and I would have to repeat the same phrases in Russian again whilst I gently, but firmly, placed him in the proper sleeping position again. This sequence of events would repeat until C fell asleep. In desperation, I would always end up trying to use various forms of touch to soothe him, but his reaction to this was always the same- extreme agitation.
Sleeping now
We have come a long way! C loves to read books at bedtime now, and will sit happily for 5-10 minutes. Sometimes he even cries because he wants to read another one (and sometimes I happily comply). When the lights go out, C is usually happy to help me situate his blankie just right, so I can rock him. A few weeks ago, he decided he wanted to use his pacifier (he never wanted anything to do with one before a few weeks ago), so he pops that in his mouth and relaxes. I know binkies can be a terrible habit, but we are allowing him to indulge- he deserves it! Sometimes C falls asleep in my arms and sometimes he wants to get in his crib after I tell a story and sing a few songs. He rarely kicks and screams now. When he does, we do holding time until he can calm down. Another improvement is that he can usually handle a pillow and blanket now and he has never pulled the sheet off of his crib here at home. Before I put him in his crib, he always wraps his little arms and legs around me and squeezes tight. It's awesome!

That's it for now. More to come later...

A Growing Bond

It has now been 2 months since we picked C up from the orphanage and became a forever family. It's strange... that all seems like so long ago. C is such a different child now. That fact makes it seem like much longer than just a few weeks. The contrast is striking, really. So many times lately, I forget for hours, sometimes even for a full day, that he hasn't been mine forever. It's wild, because sometimes, all of a sudden, I will remember. It's a strange feeling... so hard to explain. It's just that he is so much a part of me and so much a part of our family, I simply can't really remember him NOT being here and being our son. I have always loved him, but now that we are really getting to know one another, I am falling more deeply in love with him with each passing day. C has really been letting his guard down over the past week or so, and our mother-son bond has really grown by leaps and bounds. I have been so stressed over whether or not we have been doing enough and/or the right things to foster bonding and attachment, so this has really helped me to relax a little (although I know full well I must remain vigilant) and to really enjoy just being with him. Bedtime, particularly, has improved dramatically and we now see that holding time really works. C no longer screams and fights us at bedtime!!!!!!!!!!!! He even has asked me to rock him for the past few nights. My heart nearly burst tonight as I rocked him and he snuggled against me and looked up at me with his beautiful eyes, so heavy with sleep. He is letting me into his precious little heart and it is the most wonderful feeling!
Praise God!

The Things I Love About Summer

Summer is my most favorite season, and today was one of those perfect summer days. It had all 3 elements required...
1) The sun was shining
2) It was hot (but not too hot)
3) We got to spend a lot of time in the water

The 3 big kids were quite busy today and were not around much, so C and I got to swim in our little pool today without any yelling, splashing, etc. It was so much fun! Not that it isn't fun with all 4 of the kids, but it was great to be able to give him some one-on -one attention. He is quite the little swimmer! We started him out with water wings plus a tube just a few days ago (we didn't let him swim in the pool until last week) and he has already graduated to water wings only. His most favorite pool activity is to jump into the pool. Then he climbs out and does it all over again. He holds his breath like a pro! We just have to remind him to keep his mouth closed before he jumps in. And he already gets around on his own. We are impressed with this, as we are certain he has NEVER been swimming before. As I have stated in previous posts, he clearly fits our family- we all love to swim! Not only is swimming great exercise, but it tuckers those little ones out too (great bonus for Mommy and Daddy)!

Mommy's Lap is MINE!!!!!!

The past 2 weeks have been somewhat of a trial with C. Clearly we are in a testing phase right now and it is obvious C is starting to figure out that having a Mommy and Daddy is great most of the time, but it also means he faces restrictions and consequences he is not used to facing. During these times, he clearly thinks he can just say, "No Mommy and Daddy for me right now, thank you!". When this doesn't work, he becomes quite angry, to say the least, and really wants nothing to do with us. We know this type of behavior is normal for any 2 year-old, After all, there is a reason this year in a child's life is labeled " the terrible two's". The difference in this case is this: we are fairly confident our son could win a tantrum contest if one actually existed. And on top of that, we know he has the right (to some degree) to be throwing the tantrum.

Anyway, the point of all of this is actually positive. All of this bad behavior and tantrum-throwing has made me feel quite deflated. I have missed C wanting to be held. I actually felt like maybe we are regressing. Even worse, I have had moments of panic, fearing maybe C is not really attaching to us (even though I know logically that this is not true and that he IS attaching very well).

Well, yesterday, something wonderful happened. One of my girls was sitting on my lap and C was in the room playing. As soon as he noticed his sister was on my lap, he came right over and pushed her and said "MY lap!", and then proceeded to climb up and sit on my lap. He even waited (and cuddled with me) until she left the room to get down to play again. This behavior from any of my other kids would have frustrated me, as obviously jealously is not a trait we encourage in our kids, but I was thrilled when C did this. He clearly knows his place here now and feels confident that I belong to him.

He WANTS to be the baby- MY baby.

Freedom On The Other Side

A quick update...

The visit with the social worker went so well! Even though we all lacked sleep and weren't feeling our best, it turned out O.K. anyway (who would have guessed?). The house was even pretty clean- a true miracle (O.K., maybe it wasn't so clean, but the social worker didn't trip over anything, so that's good, right?!).

It was an awesome moment to have our social worker and C sitting in the same room together. Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a big moment for me. We are now officially on the home from Russia side of things now. I don't have to dread the paperwork now... C is HERE!!!

I am no longer afraid of the phone ringing (or not ringing).

I no longer have to fear the weekends and holidays (because they are not business days and they only served to slow the adoption process).

I no longer have to dread getting an E-mail that we need to turn in "just one more document" (including notary and apostille) A.S.A.P.

All of these realizations are so freeing (and a little delayed, I know :0).

I even got brave and put about half of our adoption paperwork in the shred pile downstairs. I haven't ACTUALLY shredded any of it it yet... but I will!

Oh my... being home with my son is the most wonderful gift! Things aren't perfect (and I am FAR from being the perfect Mommy), but we are HERE, and my bond with my son is growing deeper everyday.

Thank you, God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teething Time

Most of the time I love teeth. But today I am NOT a fan... I don't have a single baby in my house (O.K., one might kinda qualify, but the others aren't even close), and yet I find myself with three teething children. Three! At the same time! Not good. One is cutting 2 two-year molars and 2 are cutting 4 six-year molars. Teething in my house means terrible behavior during the day, little sleep at night (which would explain the daytime behavior), thrashing while said child IS actually asleep, diaper rash for those in diapers, lack of appetite, gastrointestinal problems, etc. Teething is nasty for my poor children :0(

This has been our life for the past week now.

C cut his bottom 2-year molars in Russia- the first tip of the first one cut the day after we picked him up from the orphanage. He had a huge hematoma on his gum. Poor guy! Both finally finished cutting the day after we arrived home (they came in quickly, so that is the silver lining in this story). I have been holding my breath waiting for the other 2 molars to show themselves ever since we came home. I'm so glad C got a break during the first few weeks home, so he could adjust to being home!

I find it fascinating that so many of my girlfriends don't even seem to know when their kids are cutting teeth. How could that be???? That is not the case in my house. No, it is VERY evident and could not possibly escape anyone who comes into contact with my kids during teething time. Hmmm... C fits right in! (Sidenote: It's amazing how C fits in so many detailed ways- details that no human being would or could ever know. God is amazing, isn't He?)

Anyway, we had a bad teething night last night. And, of course, my husband was not home (funny how it almost always seems to happen that way). I even gave C some Motrin before bed b/c he was really struggling yesterday. Even so, he cried a bit at 11:00 P.M. Then a different child (not related to teething) had a bad dream at midnight. Then C was wide awake and really crying hard at 2:30 A.M. Amazingly, this did not awaken any of the other kids. I had him settled down (Tylenol and ice water) around 3:30. Asleep at 3:45. I was just falling asleep at 4:00 when Ash climbed into my bed and announced that she could not sleep. Her gums were aching. More Motrin (and an empty bottle- better get some more before tonight rolls around!!). C woke up crying again at 4:15. Came into bed with Ash and me. C clearly thought there was a party b/c Ash would not be quiet- can't blame him. C asleep at 5:30. Put C in his bed because Ash was still talking. Ash asleep at 6:15. Daddy home at 6:30. Daddy let Mommy sleep until 9:00 A.M. God bless Daddy! Daddy asleep 9:05 and Mommy starts her day getting the house and children clean for the social worker's first post placement visit today.

That's right, the social worker is coming today. Funny, huh?

Some Pics We Love!

What is going on here??? This is C trying to figure out what a balloon launch is all about...

Just plain silliness!


He was supposed to be showing his muscles, but turned into a dinosaur!

Just plain sweet! C with his favorite Mishka (teddy bear).

C is full of joy!

Sprinkler time- C was in heaven!

C after his sisters got ahold of him... What do you think Daddy's reaction was?

A Struggle With Forgiveness

Tonight I struggle with something I have struggled with for weeks and I know this will not be the end of my struggle... I am praying for the ability to forgive.

A little background.

Today was a wonderful day. C had such a great day- he was happy, learned several new words, had tons of fun, and didn't throw a single fit (this is a VERY big deal). I was so thrilled. He even let me hold him a ton today and he really relaxed. There were several times when he even spent quite a bit of time gazing into my eyes and saying "Mama, Mama". He says this very softly, with his big blue eyes gazing up at me, and repeats it over and over again, as if he is trying to grasp the reality and the wonder of what it is to finally and truly have a Mama for REAL. While he is doing this, I am trying to keep from crying. The love that wells up inside of me for this little boy- MY SON- is amazing. I have felt this same feeling with my other three children. It is a fierce love, a protective love, a completely unconditional love. These moments give me a glimpse right into God's heart... how He loves US. And yet, He loves us even more than that. It is hard to even imagine.

On to the issue of bedtime.

I have mentioned before that C struggles with bedtime. It is incredibly difficult for him to relax. He struggles with any form of human touch. It is clear he is used to crying himself to sleep. Some formerly institutionalized kids rock, others hit their heads on the crib rails... our child screams. The very first night he spent with us, he screamed his little heart out as I held him tightly (I had to hold him- if I hadn't, he would have walked right out of that holtel, never to return. He had already successfully left twice. Yes, the door was locked and no, there was no chain).

And that is when my struggle with forgiveness began. It angered to me to my core that my son should have to be forced to be rocked to sleep by his Mama. And that the two years devoid of love caused him to detest it so. That is just so fundamentally wrong! The 2 years of learning about bonding and attachment did nothing to prepare me for the raw emotions I felt that night.

Since that first night, I have only revisited those feelings of unforgiveness in fleeting moments. God has protected me from them. But now it is time to go deeper and truly forgive.

Most nights recently have been pretty good, so I think I had convinced myself that I had been able to at least mostly forgive my son's past for causing him this present pain and difficulty. And for the future pain his past will cause him. As much as I desperately yearn to, I cannot erase the abandonment he has experienced. I know full well that only our Father in Heaven can do that.

On to tonight.

Tonight was awful. It took over an hour to rock my son to sleep. And during all that time, my other (precious and very patient) three waited for their Mommy to come and put them to bed. C screamed more than he ever has and wanted nothing to do with being held. As he screamed, the seething anger welled up inside of me. I was not angry at him, no... I was angry FOR him.

So now I am on bended knee, knowing that I must forgive completely. I know I cannot do this on my own. I cannot be angry, or this anger will be passed on to my son. I cannot be unforgiving, because not only will that cause bitterness in my heart, but over the years, it will cause bitterness in my son's heart as well.

Lord, I give this anger and bitterness to you.
I lay it all down at your feet.
Please help me to forgive fully and completely.
In your precious name,
Amen

Life as a Family of Six

Trip to the park

The past week has been full of new adventures for C! The past few days have also brought some great opportunities for sibling bonding. It's awesome to watch all four of our kids play and have fun together. We have been talking to the older three about their baby brother for two years now, so for them to actually get to get to know him and grow to love him in person is a real blessing! A, Ash, and Beans have been so faithful and have sacrificed so much- and now they get to see that it was all worth it... my heart nearly bursts every time they tell me how much they love him. Not that they don't fight and have their moments of jealousy, they do (of course), but it honestly has been so much less than I envisioned it could be. I have prayed for two years that God would grow a deep love for their baby brother inside of their hearts (and I know many of you have prayed the same prayer for just as long), and God is faithful! We feel like C has been part of our family all along... and, really he has. Even though C has not physically been with us since he was born, he has been in our hearts and minds from the time God was forming him in his birthmother's womb. I'm in awe every time I think about all of it. The way God orchestrated it all... it takes my breath away.


C REALLY loved the park!

C having a blast with Beans...

Mother Hen (Ash) leads the way!

C looked on as big brother showed him the proper rock wall climbing technique

Transformation

This picture was taken in the orphanage on trip #2

A look we saw often

Eyes already starting to sparkle... our last day in Moscow

A smile we see all day long now!
It 's hard to believe it has almost been a month since Gotcha Day. C continues to do amazingly well. The transformation he has undergone in just four short weeks is nothing short of miraculous. D and I are in awe. It has happened so quickly!

C really is a completely different child now. He has gone from a restless, distant, and unattached baby to a joyful, loving, and attached 2 year-old. Not that things are perfect... we don't want to set up false expectations for those who are in the process of adopting. We still do see flickers of anger and sorrow, and understandably so. To be sure, C still has moments where he seems to revert back to his orphanage self. To name some examples, he still occasionally refuses to be comforted (arches his back) and he will still occasionally hit the nearest body if he feels his food or a toy of his is threatened. But gone already are the days of refusing to sit in Mommy or Daddy's lap for any period of time, of eating food more quickly than we ever knew any human being could, of hiding in a far corner with food or a toy... the list could go on...

In Russia, we dreaded having to take C out, as an outing meant guaranteed fit-throwing (all-out, screaming-on-the-floor fits) and regular time-outs (which were no fun for any of us, as a time-out meant holding a screaming child who was fighting to get away with all his might until his will was broken and both parties were sweaty and exhausted, while perfect and disapproving strangers who don't even speak the same language or ascribe to the same culture looked on). I am thrilled to report that since we arrived home two weeks ago, C has never had a fit in public (of course now that have written this, it pretty much guarantees us a fit in public really soon- LOL!!!!!). Now, going out has become something we look forward to :0)

Praise God C's little spirit has been freed now! He is so full of life and just seems to love everything and everyone. Even the most mundane tasks are fun to do with C, as everything is a new adventure for him. It is such a thrill to see life through his eyes! We are blessed beyond measure to call him our son!

A Week of Firsts

I wanted to post before now, but I caught a nasty bug that wiped me out for three days... I was really out of it... I even forgot it was Father's Day when I woke up on Sunday. Not good. Sincere apologies to my husband, my father, and my-in-law :0(
By the grace of God, I recovered, our kids lived, our house survived, and I was forgiven. Praise God for all of those things! Oh- and praise God no one else in the house has gotten sick!!!!!

Sickness aside, the past week has been wonderful! I just love the way a 2 year-old lives life full tilt! There is nothing like having a front row seat to that joy! C has experienced so many firsts in the past week, it would be impossible to list them all. Some of his absolute favorites are catching lightning bugs with his brother and sisters, playing the piano, swinging, kissing his sisters, watching Mickey Mouse (Misha Maow) Clubhouse (this is fitting, since we are Disney freaks), going for walks in the stroller, scanning the sky for airplanes (air-pains), meeting the neighbors, patting the dog (yes, he finally decided yesterday that he and the dog are friends now), making pancakes (he says pan-kins) with mommy (and then eating them, of course!), and going to Wal Mart (hmmm... is something wrong with him?).

So much to do, so little time! Of course, we have to be careful not to allow too much fun in a given day, or overstimulation will cause bedtime to be difficult. C is still learning to let Mommy or Daddy soothe him, so if he is too overwrought, he will still fight cuddling a bit. We are in awe, though, that he has allowed most of his wall to come down so quickly. He is already a far cry from the little boy who did not not allow any human touch at bedtime just a few weeks ago. At that point, we had to force him to be held and loved (the experts advise this). This is heartbreaking to do, and would cause him to scream his poor little heart out... the deep-down-in-the-throat kind of scream that would rattle his entire body, just as a newborn who cannot be soothed would scream. He can fight much harder than a newborn (and he has a better set of lungs), though, so we would both end up drenched with sweat by the time sleep would come to rescue him.
This kind of screaming has not been heard in our house for a few days now, which is a huge relief not only to us, but to our girls, whose little hearts would just break every time they would hear it. We have noticed C's crying has become more 2 year-old like at bedtime now. We know it is normal for crying to occur at bedtime, so we don't expect this to subside. After all, we are putting a stop to all of the day's fun. We know any 2 year-old would be a little put-out by this fact :0)

Thanks to all of you who have prayed for our son and for his little heart- it is opening now to the love we have to give, and we are looking forward to filling it to overflowing! God is faithful!!!!!!!!

Lucky guy!!!!!

Say cheese!

We're Home!

We made it home late Wed. night after 24 hours of travel and only 5 hours of sleep for C during that time. He and A did amazingly well! Only a few fits- and a few of those were thrown by D and myself!

Words cannot adequately describe the flood of emotions D and I felt as we walked into the airport... Home sweet home... there is nothing better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless the U.S.A.!!!!And the 2 most beautifull sights of all were the faces of our precious girls! The tears of joy flowed. Thank you, Jesus, for watching over them while we were away!

Since we've been home, C is adjusting well and seems to bask in the love and attention of his new family. He is absolutely thrilled with his backyard, in particular. Yesterday he got to help daddy and the other kids fill up the pool- he had a blast! Playing with the hose just thrilled him.

This morning it was off to the Dr. for a check-up this morning and was so well behaved- the Dr. and the nurses just fell in love and were so thrilled to finally get to meet him in person (they had done quite a bit of paperwork for us during the adoption process). C also got his hair cut by daddy just now. He looks so cute! He was so proud of himself and kept saying mala dyets (good job) to himself for about 5 minutes afterward. All in all, C has had quite a day! We can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...

Before... After... Sooooo handsome!!!!!!!!!!!

Almost Time To Go HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've been here in Moscow since last Wednesday and all is well. C is doing extremely well! He has really made amazing strides in the short time he has been with us. We don't have a stroller here, so we hold him quite a bit throughout the day (we go to the market, out to eat, sightseeing, etc.), and this really has seemed to help with attachment. He seems quite comfortable being held by one of us now, and even seeks to be held when he is tired, scared, hungry, or hurt. He is such a sweetheart- he loves to give and receive hugs and kisses regularly! It is amazing how quickly C is learning English. His favorite new words are car, bus, choo-choo (we rode the subway several times), dog, uh-oh, more, all gone, hi, bye-bye, and come on. C has also seen the serious side of having a mommy and daddy- THE CORNER! He has visited it quite regularly and is not too fond of it! Now when he is being naughty and he is asked if he needs to go to the corner, he replies quickly with a strong "NYET!". He is also learning that he can eat slowly and that no one will take his food if he sits down to eat (he used to inhale his food as quickly as possible and would often hide in a corner while eating). He has tried many new foods and has decided he LOVES corn-on-the-cob (on a stick at KFC) and ice cream, amongst many other things. He has attempted to drink our soda several times and makes the worst face you have ever seen while shuddering- it is quite funny! We have found ourselves offering it to him several times just to see his reaction- what cruel parents :0(

We've had a lot of fun here and have met a lot of wonderful people here! There are many adoptive families here at the hotel. Andrew even made a friend with a little 7 year-old girl being adopted by an American family here. They had a blast together jumping rope and wrestling! He was thrilled to be her first American friend and even more thrilled that she will live only a few hours away from us.

Despite all the fun, we are ready to come home. Only 2 more days! All of our paperwork should be finished up by tomorrow. We will post lots more pictures as soon as we get home- it is expensive to pay for internet service, so I am posting this on the lobby computer.

Please pray for us- especially for the plane ride home!!!!

Gotcha!

Well, yesterday was Gotcha Day! We picked C up at the orphanage at 3:00 PM, changed him into his clothes, said goodbye to the caregivers and the orphanage director, and drove back to the hotel. All in all, C did extremely well! He looked a bit nervous, but absolutely loved the car ride. Once we got back to the hotel, he took about an hour or so to explore the room and everything in it. Then we made dinner for him and he ate everything- including all of his carrots! He even asked for more! Now if we can just keep it that way...
Bedtime was difficult for C, but after about 20 minutes of screaming, he fell fast asleep and slept all night. He woke up this morning happy and ready to play. Andrew is loving having his little brother with us finally!
Please continue to pray that C's transition goes well- thanks for all of your prayers so far!!!!!!!

Enough talk, we know what you really want...

MORE UPDATES

At the orphanage

Last Friday,
we got to watch C with his group (they put on a puppet show for the kids), which was a treat. It was great to see how he interacts with the other kids and his caregivers. We were already in the room with C when his group came in and sat down . They all called to him to come sit down- it was so sweet! As soon as they did that, he ran right over and sat next to a little girl who was patting the seat, wanting C to sit next to her. During the puppet show, the caregivers would occasionally call for group participation, either asking a question, or wanting the kids to sing / clap along to a particular song, and C was completely into it- he just loved it! During all of this, he would look back every minute or so, to make sure we were still there. Oh, my heart felt like it would burst- half sad, because of what C will be losing, and half overwhelmingly joyful because of this mother-son bond that is forming between us.

This past weekend,
the orphanage was closed to visitors, so we had two whole days to explore the city. We started out feeling a little timid, but with lots of time on our hands and a desire to fill it, we decided to jump right in and explore. The weather was quite chilly, but that didn’t stop us! It actually snowed on our walk to the market- Andrew thought that was very funny, given the fact that it is almost June. We had been to the local market twice before, but this time we really took our time and found a lot more to buy (to eat) than we had the first few times! It’s funny to try to figure out exactly what the food item REALLY is- even though I can read the Russian words, I am not always so sure what the package/jar/box contains. Sometimes the picture helps, and sometimes not. All in all, we did pretty well!

We also found the children’s store, which is quite large and sells just about everything you can imagine. cost of the ones at home. D and I were amazed at the prices as well. Even a basic umbrolla stroller goes for about $50.00- we bought one at home for $12.00! Guess Mr. C will have to wait until we get home for a stroller ride (we didn’t bring ours to Russia b/c of weight restrictions on the plane).

Eating out has been an adventure here too! We have mostly stuck with what we know, like KFC, pizza places, and Subway (which are all a bit different than they are at home, but close enough), but we have also branched out and tried the unfamiliar. Our favorite so far has been the Irish Steakhouse. The name may lead you to think this would not be so unfamiliar, but the name is VERY misleading. It turns out the Irish Steakhouse is really a Russian disco/pub. It is fairly dark, there is techno music playing entire time, and none of the food is Irish at all- it is actually Russian. Ordering our food there certainly required stepping out of our comfort zone, but we ended up loving it there- yum! We even went back a second night. On the second night, Andrew and Jeremy got out on the dance floor and danced the robot- they even got a thumbs-up from the D.J. :0)
Yesterday,
we finally got to go see Mr. C again! We had a great visit! I was thrilled to see that the two days away didn’t phase him at all. He warmed up to us right away, and even offered kisses without being prompted. He said Andrew’s name for the first time today too, which really thrilled Andrew. D and I are anxiously ready to take C with us, although we really are trying hard not to wish this time away. We know it will come soon enough, and we really want C to have these last few days to warm up to us just a little more, before he has to leave the place that always been his home and the people who have always been his family.

The more we see, the harder it is for us. We know bringing him home will be a blessing to all of us, but that does not change the fact that there will be loss too- especially for C.

Just four more days…

Today,
We took a break from going to the orphanage today- the ride there and back is incredibly tiring and costly. On top of that, we all need a break from that room. Spending 2-3 hours in the same room every day with the exact same toys will wear on any kid, and both C and Andrew needed a break. We will resume our visits tomorrow.

The weather was much warmer today, so we decided to explore the riverfront down in front of our hotel. It was so nice to be outside! Here are some pictures...

Our Trip So Far In Pictures

Well, we are now in the "uptown" hotel- we have internet and have even had hot showers today! Not that taking a bath in a bucket was so bad- we actually thought it was kinda fun! Our visits with C are going great and we are anxious to keep him for good! We still can't post any pics of our newest addition just yet (tune in next Fri. for those- that's when we will pick him up), but here are some from our trip so far...

Court Successful

Well we both feel like we were cramming for college finals...going over all the notes we took with our facilitator and translator...anyway at 1:52PM Krasnoyarsk time the judge decreed that C was now one of us!!! Andrew was able to come into the courtroom to hear the decree read. When we were done we shook hands with the judge and she held her hand out to Andrew and he shook her hand like he was a grown man and not our little boy. As you can see by the picture Andrew was wearing his new suit which he calls his "business suit."

Here is a picture of us outside the courthouse after our hearing

More to come later....

Today we saw our son

After our long trip here and taking a bath out of a bucket for the first time in our lives we finally made it to the orphanage. As we walked in we saw C being walked down the hall. I told Lyn there he was and she began to cry. We then were taken into the visiting room and began our first visit with C in what seemed like an eternity. He was again very quick, but nervous to warm up to Lyn and within a few minutes him and our son, Andrew, were following one another around the play area. Andrew summed it up the best, "Baby brother is awesome!!"


COURT TOMORROW!!!!!

Well, we’re here in Siberia! Here’s a recap of the last three days…

Friday, May 16^th

Completed our medicals successfully! This adventure consisted of seeing 8 different specialists over a period of about 4 hours. We were required to bring some labs we had completed in the U.S. last month and then spent maybe 5 min. max with each Dr. (with quite a bit of waiting in between Drs.). Once all of the consultations were completed, we received a stamp of approval from each specialist. We were then given the documents with all the pretty stamps to present to the court in our region.

The traffic in Moscow back to the hotel was horrible! Once we got back, we walked to KFC for dinner and had some interesting things to eat- it is not quite the same as back home! No mashed potatoes- bummer!

Saturday, May 17^th

Caught up on sleep and walked to Red Square with the Parks (the other adoptive family here from our agency). It was really hard to grasp the reality that we were actually standing there! It was amazing! After seeing the sights and taking lots of pictures, we ate lunch at McDonald’s- yum! Our 7 year-old son, Andrew, was in heaven! The food at McDonald’s was pretty close to what we are used to.

At 5:45 P.M., we again set out in the crazy Moscow traffic- it was even MORE horrible! Wow, it really rivals any of the big city traffic I’ve seen in the U.S.! As my husband likes to say, it seems as though the traffic lanes are merely taken as suggestions here. This can make the experience quite scary!

We arrived at the airport and went through security without a hitch. Praise God! I was so very relieved- on our last trip we were stopped and questioned about our visas.

At 9:30, we took off, headed for Siberia. One step closer to our baby boy!

Sunday, May 18^th

We arrived here in our region early this morning. Our flight here was uneventful, and we are thankful for that. Just after arriving, we were met by our facilitator here and told that our hotel would not have any hot water all week. No big deal, really, right? Things became a little more concerning on our drive to the hotel, though- especially when we drove right past it! I was quite confused, but remained calm. I have learned to just try to relax here and just go along with whatever is happening.

After we crossed the bridge, leading us to the “south” side of town, we pulled up in front of a different (slightly dilapidated and somewhat seedy-looking) hotel. This is when we found out the hotel we were planning to stay in (and had stayed in on our last trip) is booked until Friday. Our facilitators looked nervous as we checked into the hotel, so I became slightly nervous too. Then we were told there is no internet here and there is no way to call the U.S. from here. That’s when the tears started to form… I had told my girls we would call them when we arrived here. After several minutes, one of our facilitators found out we could purchase some kind of phone card to connect us to Moscow. Once connected, the operator dials your home # for you and connects the call. I’d never heard of such a thing, but we bought the card and called. And it worked! We got to talk to our girls. That made everything right again!

After a long nap, we walked down to the Yennesy River for some air and exercise. The view from our hotel is beautiful, with the mountains framing the river. We can even see a ski resort up on the side of one of the mountains not too far away. It was a pretty day today, sunny and about 70 degrees or so. We could see a lot of people by the river from our window and we were excited to get outside and check it out! Once we got down to the river, though, we were amazed at the amount of broken glass and trash strewn all about-how sad. I had to keep a close eye on Andrew, to make sure he didn’t step on any glass. Not a very nice place for children to play, although there certainly were lots of them down by the river today. Hmmmm…..

On to brighter note… tomorrow we see our son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're HERE!

After 2 years, we are finally here in Russia to get our son! Praise God! It's really quite surreal.
We had a fairly uneventful trip and our oldest son is here with us. He did incredibly well on our trip over! After a 5-hour nap this afternoon, we were refreshed and ready to explore- we were thrilled to find a Sbarro for dinner!. Now it's off to bed- our medicals are tomorrow!

Fun day with our girls

We had a great day today with our girls!

Beans sitt'in pretty!

Ash climbs the rock wall!

2 days and counting...

Well, it's almost time to go! D and I spent Friday evening and all day yesterday at a wedding out of town. It was hard to leave the kids, but the wedding was for a close high school of D's and he was a groomsman, so we went. Even though I missed the kids, I'm so glad I did! The wedding was beautiful and we got to spend some time with another one of D's close friends from high school and his wife (Jason and Sharon- thanks for letting us stay with you guys!). We don't see D's childhood friends very much, so it was really nice to catch up. Thank you, Grandma F. for staying with the kids for us!

We got home late last night (actually it was today already), and I was awakened around 7 A.M. by 3 little cutie pies kissing and hugging me, and shrieking, "Happy Mother's Day!". I was still very tired, but so happy to see them! The first thing that crossed my mind was that I would only have 2 more mornings with them our girls before we leave. Oh, I am going to miss my girls! I just love cuddling with them every morning! What sweeties! I heard Beans praying later, she was asking God to please make the trip to Russia just 5 days. Later, she asked exactly how many days we will be gone. I didn't have the heart to tell her, so I told her tomorrow I will give her the countdown calendar so she can see how many, and so she can mark off each day while we are gone. Time is so hard for a 5 year-old to understand... it's even hard for me to understand sometimes.

Tomorrow, D and I get to go on a field trip with our girls and their class to the zoo. We are so grateful for the chance to spend an entire school day with them just 2 days before we leave. And then tomorrow night, we will have a family night BBQ. This will be our chance to see everyone and spend some quality time together before we go. We are giving the girls heart lockets to wear while we are gone, so they'll get those tomorrow night. I have also written them several letters that will be mailed to them every week while we are gone. I hope these things will help them to cope with our being away. Beans told me Friday (with tears pouring down her face) that she won't be my baby anymore when C comes home. Whoa... that broke my heart! She hasn't said that for awhile. We have had many talks about the same issue, but I guess she just needed reassurance again, so obviously I did just that (and I'm sure it won't be the last time).
I explained that she will always be my baby and that C can never take the spot in my heart that belongs to her- that it belongs to her forever. She smiled the hugest smile right when I said this and the tears immediately stopped. Oh she is so sweet! Ash is too, of course, but she is clearly much more confident in our love for her. And she seems to really get it that God is in control. Wow! I don't even get that a lot of the time!

Oh Lord, please hold my girls close while we are away. Fill them with your love so their hearts won't be hurting. Help them to know how very special they are and that you are in control.
Help them to understand that their baby brother needs his forever mommy and daddy and please continue to fill their little hearts with love for him.
In Jesus' Precious Name, Amen

Russia, Here We Come!

The past few days have been a whirlwind! We have been rushing around trying to get our visas, plane tickets, hotel reservations, and general itinerary ironed out. We're also trying to get the packing done and all of the other errands done that we will not be able to get done for the month we are in Russia. So many little things to think about. For example: I always pictured returning to Russia in March, so I never worried about the grass needing to be cut. But now it is May, and we need someone to cut the grass. Thankfully, we have already found someone willing- thanks, Don! All of this while still trying to leave our daily lives...
I am such a perfectionist that I have a VERY hard time making my mind slow down long enough to relax and revel in what is about to take place. I am trying so very hard just to be still and savor every moment I have with our girls before we leave. It is starting to hit me now how hard this is going to be... And yet we are all excited at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I think about it from God's perspective, there is nothing to worry about. He will hold our girls close while we are gone and He will make everything happen- it doesn't matter if I do everything perfectly or not. Praise God for that!
So for the next week, I will be coming back to read this post at least several times a day, so I can be reminded that our girls WILL be O.K. and that we WILL get everything done that NEEDS to be done. If you see me or talk to me, it wouldn't hurt to remind me to be still and relax. I would be grateful for the reminder!

Our Last Goodbye

Just a few weeks after my husband and I began our adoption journey in search of our son, we were able to tell my grandma the news in person. She was living in an assisted living home several states away at the time, and she hadn't really been quite herself for a few months, so we weren't sure whether or not she would even understand what we were telling her. When we first arrived, she didn't even remember who we were, and my heart sank... I wanted so badly for her to rejoice with us and for her to truly understand that she would be blessed with another great-grandchild! You see, when she was herself, my grandma would have literally jumped for joy at such news. And a great-grandchild from Russia! She would have found that absolutely thrilling! She would have asked me right then if she could go and tell all of her friends (and anyone else- even perfect strangers- she might meet along the way). That's how my grandma was, full of unconditional love and overflowing pride for her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She never missed an opportunity to tell everyone about all of us- never in a boastful way, rather in the sweetest and most infectious giggly way. I wish I could have bottled that giggle! And the way her beautiful eyes lit up and sparkled like bright sunlight on crystal blue water...

But on the day I had the opportunity to tell her about our son, I thought I would not get the chance to hear that giggle, nor the chance to see that sparkle. But then, something amazing happened. I saw and sensed a glimmer of my grandma... Maybe it was something in her eyes, or something she said. I really don't remember. All I do remember is I decided to tell her. I smiled at my husband, and he nodded in agreement. He had sensed it too. So I leaned in close, and told my grandma that we were planning to adopt; that she would have a great-grandchild from Russia. She smiled and turned to look at me, and I saw it! That sparkle! What a beautiful sight that was. Then I saw a tear slide silently down her cheek.

What an incredible gift God gave me day. I knew as we drove away that that would be the last time I would ever get to talk to my grandma. I have seen her since, but that was the last time she was ever really herself. I also sensed that she would pass from this world just before it was time to bring our son home. My grandma passed away last Thursday. We got our court date today. Just enough time to say goodbye before beginning to prepare to go to Russia to bring our son home to his forever family. Thank you, Lord, for your perfect timing...

We will miss you dearly, Grandma. Our son will hear so many wonderful stories about you. And best of all, he will hear about how much he was loved and wanted by a great-grandma he never even knew.

Two Amazing People

On Christmas Eve, the day after my husband and I returned home from our first trip to Russia, my mom called to tell me that my uncle (on my Dad's side) and my aunt (on my mom's side) had both been diagnosed with aggressive forms of cancer. This was hard news to swallow, but we prayed for two miracles. We also knew God's will would be done. Just a week later, my Uncle Jim passed away. My Aunt Carole held on a little longer, but lost her battle last week.

I have always lived far away from both my Uncle Jim and my Aunt Carole, and I never got to see either one of them nearly as much as I would have liked. Regardless of this reality, I have always held a special place for each one of them in my heart. Even though they are now gone from this Earth, they have forever changed who I am and how I live my life.

My Uncle Jim was a big guy with a New York accent, a great sense of humor (he loved to laugh), and a heart of gold. He was the type of guy who was completely pure and true- he never pretended to be someone else. If you didn't like that, too bad! He, along with his wife (my dad's sister), raised 2 amazing sons- 2 of the sweetest and most respectful guys I have ever known... they are true gentlemen. This speaks volumes of who my uncle was.

One of my earliest memories of my Uncle is of the time he took all of us kids fishing. I think it might have been my first time. He taught me what I needed to know, and then let me have at it. I clearly remember standing on the pier, watching my bobber start to move. My uncle was helping one of the other kids. Suddenly, something was pulling HARD on my line. I quickly went from excited to terrified. The fish was pulling so hard, I thought I was going to gett pulled in with it! I screamed with all my might, and my uncle came running right over to save me. And save me he did! He helped me reel in a pretty big fish! After that, he praised me for not letting go. He kept telling me how tough and how brave I was. That was a big compliment from such a big, strong guy! I was thrilled. Later on, he told the story of how strong and brave I was to my mom and dad and anyone else who would listen. Uncle Jim became one of my heros that day...

If you had asked me during my growing up years what kind of man I wanted to marry someday, I would have told you a man like my Uncle Jim. And you know what? I did- minus the New York accent :0).

Some lessons I have learned from my Uncle Jim:

1) Take time for the little moments and truly be present in them.
2) Take time to encourage others.
3) Teach your sons to be gentlemen and to respect their mother.
4) Enjoy life!
5) Always be there for your family.
6) Be true to who you are- don't compromise.



My Aunt Carole was an AMAZING lady. I don't like to even try to put her into words, but that is all I have, so I'll try...

Aunt Carole blessed all she met with the most incredible unconditional love- she was friend to all. She gave 100% of herself 100% of the time. She truly wanted to know everything about every person she ever met- she was genuinely interested. And she was very direct- if she wanted to know something, she would ask you, and if she had an opinion, she would share it with you. She wasn't perfect and never pretended to be. And boy, was she funny! Her zeal for life could not be contained. She was THE BEST cook, and always made gourmet meals. My husband does not like to try new things, and is a fairly picky eater, but Aunt Carole's food was the exception. If she made it, he couldn't wait to eat it- even if he did not recognize any of it!

Aunt Carole had her priorities perfectly straight. Although she loved a neat and tidy house (did I mention how much she loved a tidy house?), she knew what was most important. She (along with my uncle- my mom's brother) raised 2 wonderful kids. She also had 2 incredible grandchildren. She loved kids- whatever delighted them delighted her. She often chastised me for worrying so much about the mess my kids would make in her house. She would say, "They're kids! Let them play!". And she didn't just say this, she lived this example. I am forever grateful to her, for this is one of the most important lessons of motherhood. I strive to be the kind of mother she was.

Lessons I learned from my Aunt Carole:

1) Truly love others- even strangers.
2) Speak the truth in love.
3) Don't miss out on the important things in life by getting caught up in the small details.
4) Be yourself- you don't have to be perfect!
5) Have fun!
6) Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
7) Be devoted to your family (and feed them well).

Both my Uncle Jim and my Aunt Carole were truly exceptional people and I have learned so many important life lessons from each of them. They richly blessed my life (and the lives of so many others)... Although I am deeply saddened because our son will never know Uncle Jim and Aunt Carole in the literal sense, I will always strive to instill in him the lessons I have learned from them. In this way, my son (and all of our children) will carry a little part of my Uncle Jim and a little part of my Aunt Carole with him always.

With Surrender Comes Peace

Well, tomorrow is my little boy's second birthday, and some of you have asked how I'm doing, knowing that we will not be with him on that day (thank you so much for caring enough to ask!). My answer to this question is, of course, complex. The first part to the answer: I wish he could be right here, right now... but he can't. The second part to the answer, and the part that amazes me: I'm O.K. with that. To expound on that even further, I actually feel a sense of excited anticipation.

This feeling surprises me... I used to say I would surely fall apart if we didn't make it to Russia by April 15th. Since our son's birthday falls really close to the four-month mark we had been told to expect, I used this date as kind of a "worst case scenario" deadline for myself.

WARNING: (this is directed to all prospective adoptive parents who following behind us on the adoption path) DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!

I know my positive outlook on this otherwise grim reality is a gift- and it can be directly attributed to the people who have covered us in prayer and love through our adoption journey.
All of the support we have received from others (especially my best girlfriend, Robin, who has been soooo incredibly supportive- thanks girlfriend :0) ) throughout this time has been incredible. It's so comforting and uplifting to have so many people so deeply entrenched in this journey with us. God has moved so many hearts to pray for us and for our son, and this has made all the difference to us. Those prayers and love have enabled me to surrender to the fact that God is completely in control of EVERY detail of this entire adoption journey. The wrestling with God over the timing and specifics is over... praise God!!!... and it has been replaced with an incredible peace.

"I have told you these things,
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart!
I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

Raining Eggs

I finally did it! Here's the video from our Easter egg hunt at church. Pretty cool, huh? The kids were thrilled!

Please Pray

This was the announcement from our agency yesterday...

As we have noted on our blog, another child adopted from Russia to the United States was recently killed by his parents. Russia takes the death of one of their children very seriously, and as this now makes 14 children in total who have been killed in the United States, we have been concerned as to what ramifications this latest case may have on the process. In the past, we have seen increased document requirements, greater scrutiny on parents, a further restriction on mental health diagnoses and treatment in prospective adoptive parents, and requests for documents from US governmental authorities as a result of children’s deaths.
We have now received word that one of the regions we have recently begun working with again has decided to halt adoption activities for one month, citing this incident as the cause. I would ask that families pray for the Russian authorities, that they would have wisdom during this time.
I would also ask for prayer for the people involved in this tragedy, particularly the other children who were in the family.

The region in Russia first to respond to this tragedy is not ours, but a similar response could come from our region at any time. Of course, we pray that it does not.

Please pray!

Pray for the family involved in this tragedy.
Pray specifically for the mother (who has been charged) in this case. That she seek repentance if she did commit this crime, and that the truth will set her free if she did not.
Pray for the families affected by this tragedy. There are thousands of orphans in Russia waiting to come home to their forever families at this very moment.
Pray for wisdom for the Russian authorities. They want to protect their chilfren, and we want this as well.
Please pray that tragedies like this one are averted in the future.

Although our faith that our son will come home remains unshaken, our hearts are hurting right now. We mourn every time a child loses his life at the hands of a parent.

One child is too many.

Please Explain

Several people have asked me in the past few days to explain a little more about the adoption process from here on out, with the main question being, "Why don't you have a court date?". The reason I haven't posted on this subject is twofold:
one- because there are so many factors, and two- I don't know all of the factors.

Here is what I know...

We are waiting for a court date to be assigned. These are generally assigned in the order by which the families traveled for trip one. Remember, there are several other agencies working in our region, which means there are other families in "line" in addition to the families from our agency. We are next (along with another family) within our agency. The court will take 2 families from our agency per court day. Adoptions are only processed on Tuesdays, so there is one possible court day per week.

In order for a court date to be assigned to us, all of our documents (dossier) must first be reviewed again by our facilitator. He needs to ensure that they are all in his possession (he has his own copies and our regional facilitator has her own copies as well- hers are the ones that will physically be turned in to the judge), that they are all done correctly, that they are all current / not expired, etc. It is our understanding that this process is complete or nearly complete.

Next, our physical dossier will be brought to the courthouse by our regional facilitator and presented to the judge. The judge then reviews the dossier (checking for the same things listed above) and assigns a court date. This could happen in one day, or it could take several weeks for a date to be assigned, depending on the judge's satisfaction with the dossier. He may ask for additional support documents and/or for documents to be re-done before a court day is assigned or even after a court date is assigned. Basically, additional documents can be requested at any time- even during the time we are physically in court (eeek! hope that doesn't happen!).

After a court date is assigned, this information must be relayed to/confirmed by the adoption agency's staff here is the U.S. During this time, our entire itinerary is planned out and every day we will spend in Russia is accounted for. We will be informed of our court date once our court date is confirmed and the general itinerery is mapped out.
Here's a rundown of the general itinerary (approx 27-30 days)...

1) Medicals
Spend several days in Moscow, during which time the medicals will be completed. We are required to have several labs done here in the U.S. and bring the results to Russia with us. We will see 8 specialists (oncologist, neurologist, etc.) and they will sign off on some paperwork for us to bring to the region with us.
2) Pre-court visit
Travel to the region and have at least one pre-court visit with our son. This is required by the court. I am fully in favor of this one and look forward to fulfilling the wishes of the court!
3) Prepare for court
We will spend several hours with one of our facilitators prepping for court the day prior to our actual court date.
4) COURT!
This will take about 2 hours, during which time we will be questioned about all things pertaining to our life, who we are, and what kind of parents we will be to our son.
5) 10-day waiting period
Our region (along with most regions in Russia) requires a 10-day waiting period post-court before we can be forever united with our son. We are told the purpose of this is to allow parents and children to build a stronger bond before the child is taken from the only home and caregivers he or she has ever known. During this time, our son stays in the orphanage and we are allowed to visit as often as the orphanage allows (this seems to be just about every weekday in our region).
6) Gotcha Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This will be the day we get to take our son with us :0) It will be amazing to actually get to walk out of the orphanage with him in our arms!
7) Paperwork
We will spend a few days in the region after gotcha day getting our some of the identification paperwork our son will need- new birth certificate, etc.
8) Return to Moscow
We will spend our last few days in Russia getting more paperwork (U.S. Embassy, etc.)
9) Fly home!
Our son will meet the rest of his forever family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that's it! After we return home, we will be required to complete several post-placement reports over a span of 3 years. A post-placement report is simply a report that is written by our social worker, detailing our son's well-being and progress in his new family/home.

Please pray for a court date to come soon, so we can become a forever family as soon as possible!