Monday, January 28, 2008

More waiting...expectantly!

Well, our agency received all of our updatded paperwork today. Notice all of the red docs on the list below are now completed and have been changed to white. Woohoo!!!!!!:) Now we wait...

The one document we still need to get a court date is supplied by the Russian government, so there isn't much we can do but wait for it to come. That is very difficult for me to do, but I must! We have been told this particular doc can take 1-3 months to obtain. It has been 5 weeks since we arrived back in the U.S., but if 2 weeks is subtracted from that (for Russian Christmas), then it has only been 3 weeks :(
Well, I choose to look at that in a positive light and see it as almost a month. So we could even hope for it to come this week!
I am excited about the possibility of that!

On a seperate note, we think we are close to selling both the rental house and flip house. Wouldn't that just be amazing if they both sold in the same week?
Wow, that would sure help with the adoption funding! Sadly, it would still not be enough to complete the adoption, but as one of our Yahoo group members once posted, God's pocketbook is infinitely deeper than we could ever imagine. Halleluia!
So no worries there! We're just excited to see what God will do!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A better mommy, a better daughter

This adoption process has challenged me in so many ways... I am so grateful for the lessons it has taught me.

Perseverance and faith in the face of the unknown have been two of the most important lessons impressed upon me throughout this journey. Obedience is another. I have struggled with this one the most.

I wish I could say I have always taken the next step without complaint immediately after God has directed me down a given path... but I haven't. In fact, I have protested and or complained quite a bit at times (not about the blessing of a child, but about so many other things- the cost of adoption, all of the never-ending paperwork, fear of traveling, fear of not being a good enough mother to a child who deserves a mommy who is perfectly versed in attachment and bonding, etc.). All of this is driven by fear.

It's funny, and not in a ha-ha sort of way, because I just put one of my 5 year-old daughters to bed early because she was extremely disobedient tonight (she is what is known as a "strong-willed child). I think of my frustration and disappointment with her. "Why doesn't she just do what I ask?", I think. Things would be so much easier for her, not to mention, for me! And then I think of how God must feel so much of the time with me. Not that that changes His love for me, not by any stretch of the imagination. I know full well how He loves me, or at least I can somewhat grasp the tip of the iceburg on His love...all I have to do is think about my love for my little girl... or my love for my son on the other side of the world.

Immediately, I am flooded with heart-bursting love and the frustration and anger are gone. Wiped away.

Then I rediscover what I already know, what I seem to forget for moments at a time just about everyday...

I don't have to be good enough! I don't need all of the answers! I don't have to be afraid! That's God's job. He is the parent, and I am not. He is the driver, and I am not. Why struggle?

There is a song by the Christian music group, Point of Grace, that says:
"There's a bridge to cross the great divide. There's a cross to bridge the great divide" That cross is there for me and for all. To get us to a place we could never have gotten to without it. To erase the gap between my humanity and God's perfect holiness. I just need to remember that that cross is there...it's always there.

Just as I work to refine MY daughter and help her to grow, I resolve to let God work on me and to make me a better daughter. Not that he doesn't love me already, it's just that I am a bit strong-willed myself.

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: rejoice!
Let your gentleness be evident to all.
the Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your minds and your hearts in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4-7

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Our computer is finally here

Big news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got our computer back finally! Oh my, it has been a long time! I will NOT miss using that silly old desktop! Now I can and will be a blogging fool!

Funny...I have the computer back and now there is not much to report on the adoption front. So I decided to add a slide show onto the sidebar. Boy am I slow! This took me forever!

Enjoy!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Paperwork :0 (

Today I am drowning in the mire of paperwork! We just finished updating lots of documents in December and lots more over the past 2 weeks, and just yesterday we got an E-mail for a bunch more (mostly Am. Embassy docs for when we're in Moscow on trip #2)! On top of all that, Russia just raised their foreign adoption fee by $2300.00. This has caused me to worry about paying for all of this all over again! I keep having to talk myself down and to remind myself to keep my focus where it belongs!

Here is the announcement from our agency...

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing to inform you of increases to the Russia Foreign Fee. After numerous discussions and deliberations, the Facilitator Staff has informed us of the necessity of increasing the Foreign Fee and Dossier Translation cost in order to continue to provide adoption services. The current Foreign Fees are $15,000 for one child and $26,000 for two children. At this time the Foreign Fees for Russia are increasing to $17,000 for families adopting one child, and $29,000 for families adopting two children. The Dossier Translation Fee is also increasing from $1,700 to $2,000.

Whew! All of this is completely worth it, there is NO doubt, but I am a human being after all! I must say, I am quite overwhelmed! I am usually calm when we start any given piece of paperwork, but I quickly become frazzled by the time we're really into it. Sometimes the questions may not be quite as simple as they initially appeared. If I am trying to complete it while the kids are around, the frazzle factor goes up dramatically! If we have to send away for paperwork or rely on others to get it done properly and quickly, I really freak about that. I hate giving the control of the timing of our adoption to someone else- especially if it is a government agency (this is not the case right now, PTL!)

So, to make myself feel better, I am going to list all of the ones done and all of the ones left to do, so I have a complete checklist.

Those of you who are in the process right now, or for those of you who have already gone through this, you already knew about this behind the scenes stuff. For those of you who are new to the adoption world, this will get your feet wet a bit!

The ones in white are done
The docs in red just need to be apostilled and copied
The ones in blue are still unobtained

Passports
4 copies of passport photo page with notarized "certified copy of orig. (CCOO)" page- 2 ea.
2 Applications to Adopt
2 Registration forms- 1 original for each spouse
3 Prospective Parents Commitments
2 Home Study Agency Commitments
2 Home Study Agency Recommendations
2 Home Study Agency Licenses each with CCOO's
1 Original Home Study
2 Original Home Studies w/new notary requirements
2 Home Study Updates
1 Financial Statement
4 Employment letters- 2 originals for each spouse
10 lab reports- 5 ea.
2 Dr.'s licenses
1 Certified Marriage Certificate
2 Copies of USCIS Approval- each w/CCOO's
2 Copies of NEW USCIS Approval- eachw/CCOO's
1 Original USCIS Approval
1 Original NEW USCIS Approval
4 State Police Clearances- 2 ea.
3 Power of Attorney Letters
2 Copies of Deed to Home- each w/CCOO's
2 Photo Albums of Family
1 Insurance Letter and Benefits
3 Medicals- 1 per child
1 Pediatrician's License- w/CCOO
1 Album of Pictures from Trip #1
1 Copy of Poverty Guidelines (w/CCOO)
1 Home Assessment Affidavit
1 Copy of Illinois Adoption Law- w/CCOO
1 Copy of Social Worker's License- w/CCOO
1 Petition to Court
2 Visa Applications for Trip #1- no apostille needed
2 Visa Applications for Trip #2 - no apostille needed


72 Documents total!

And a lot of this paperwork we have done twice, since our first dossier (a dossier is a compilation of all the aforementioned docs) expired before we were ever registered into a region. That easily turns the number into well over 100!

And after you think you are done, all documents must be checked by our agency before apostilling and then copied 3 times after apostilling without removing ANY of the original staples- not an easy feat!

That does it for the Russian documents! I'll post U.S. Embassy docs next time- I'm too tired right now. All of these must be notarized and apostilled (that just says the notary is truly an official notary in the state of Illinois). Apostilling must be done in the state capital- lucky for us that is only an hour away. Needless to say, the ladies there know us well now! We have been there 8 times in the past year and a half!

Love to you all!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Ice sliding fun!

Make sure you scroll to the bottom of the page and turn the music off if you want to hear the audio.

After the last depressing post, I owe my readers something lighthearted and fun, so here it is!

That's me, sliding down an ice sculpture slide in Russia (O.K., it looks like I'm going really slow, but it FELT fast). It was really cool! I wish my rump hadn't been so cold, 'cuz I wanted to do it again!

Thanks to the Parks for shooting and providing this video! We miss you!

Love,

Me

Friday, January 04, 2008

Missing our son

I have to be completely honest. This wait is so incredibly hard. I never knew it would be so hard. I think of others who have waited so much longer and ask myself, "How did they endure this?" Of course, I know the answer. Clinging to Our Father in Heaven is the only way. And so I cling...
As the days go by, our son is growing older on the other side of the world.
My oldest son constantly asks when his baby brother is coming home. He constantly prays for his baby brother to come home. It breaks my heart.
There have been countless times over the past few weeks when my world just stops turning and I begin to cry.
What makes this happen? It could be anything... Usually it's just that I suddenly picture C HERE instead of there. It often happens when I'm watching my kids play. I love to watch them have fun together. I often stand back during these times just to observe and take it all in...their giggles, their beautiful smiles...
Then I picture HIM giggling along with them and HIS beautiful smile, playing with his brother and sisters. Wow! They will adore him!
I let my mind wander and I imagine what it will be like to hear him say "Mama" for the first time. It fills me with joy and makes me cry all at the same time. There has been a lot of crying.
Yet, through all of the tears, there is a joyful expectation and a spirit of thanksgiving in my heart. It is so confusing to feel all of those emotions at once. I am sad because I miss my son, yet I am joyful because of the countless ways in which the Lord has blessed D and me. I am thankful because I know that God is refining D and me.
We are focused completely on Him. We are learning to be better listeners, to pray more often, and to rely more on God. This is a time during which the Lord is holding us us because we cannot stay afloat on our own. As painful as these times can sometimes be, how sweet times are as well!
What a blessing to know I can bury my face in Father God's chest and cry...what a blessing to know that He goes before us, that He is with us now, and that He will carry us into the future. A future that will include baby C in our family, laughing and playing with his brother and sisters...and calling me "Mama".

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
Let us throw off everything that that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,
And let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith,
Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
And sat down at the throne at the right hand of God.
Consider him...so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:1-3

That scripture keeps me going.
The joy set before me keeps me going.
Jesus keeps me going!
Thank you for your amazing example, Jesus!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Waiting for our son


Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This picture was taken at midnight last night- can you believe all of the kids stayed up to ring in the New Year?
Even our youngest guest (19 months old) made it to midnight! She had a blast! She threw the confetti and screamed with glee just like the big kids.
It was fun to watch her and picture how C would have been if he had been here to celebrate with us..
It is thrilling to think that 2008 will bring with it our son. I have many moments of tears, wishing he could be here right now, but I also know God's timing is perfect...
And so we wait... in great anticipation.
"God is able through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think"
Ephesians 3:20
"Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."
Psalm 27:14
"All of the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Psalm 139:16