Tonight at bedtime, Caleb asked to read the same book I described in the last post. He now calls it the "Russia Book". I looked for it, but couldn't find it, so I suggested we read one of his other favorite books. He then started crawling on the floor looking for it (he must have been looking at it earlier today and forgot to put it away), saying "No, Mama, we read RUSSIA BOOK!!!!!". He seemed very upset that he couldn't find it, so I joined the search. We finally found the book under his blankie on the floor. C was so happy we had found it, and snuggled close to me in the rocking chair and looked up at me in great anticipation. His little face was just beaming- he looked so precious! I told the entire story of meeting him, then of separation (his little face pouted during this part), and then of getting to go back to Russia to finally bring him home. He got so excited toward the end of the story and exclaimed, "I say, bye-bye Russia... I love you! Then I fly in a plane in the sky and go home." He then said in a very happy little voice, "I home, Mama!".
Yes, son, you are home. Right where you belong.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Always
During our last visit with the attachment/behavioral therapist, she encouraged me to tell Caleb that I will ALWAYS be his Mommy and that I will ALWAYS love him every night during our rocking time. It's not that I don't tell him I love him- I probably tell him at least 25 times every day... and he loves it (in Russian and in English). It was the ALWAYS part she was wanting me to stress. To be completely honest, I have never said that to him in English before. I have said it to him in Russian many times in the past, but I never knew if he really understood what I was saying. Truthfully, I figured he didn't. ALWAYS is a really abstract concept for a 2 year-old, in my opinion, but I decided to give the therapist's suggestion a try...
The first time I ever attempted this was a few weeks ago. I pretty much expected Caleb's reaction to be something like "I love you too, Mama", which is what he always says (with an adorable sideways smile) when I tell him I love him. That's not at all what he said, though.
Instead of the anticipated reaction/response, Caleb quickly and angrily replied (complete with a scowl), "NO, Mama!", to my pledge of unending love for him. I was so taken aback, I repeated my pledge again. But I got the exact response I had gotten the first time.
Hmmm... Not the perfect love-filled moment I was going for.
Talk about a stab through the heart. Great suggestion, I thought. Maybe I should not do what the therapist tells me to do... EVER AGAIN.
Something prompted me to keep going, though. I had a creeping suspicion that C DID understand what I was saying to him (at least to some degree)and it scared him. He has a pattern of pushing me away whenever he feels I am getting too close. And whenever he pushes me away, I must lovingly push back until he lets me in. It was time to break down yet another wall. Clearly the therapist DID know what she was talking about.
Sure enough, I got the same angry reaction night after night. Caleb's language abilities are well above average and I tried every avenue I could think of to expand on the meaning of always. This only seemed to anger him more and he insisted he did NOT want me to say such things. He even cried a few times and squinted he eyes so he didn't have to look at me. Did I mention I very much dislike breaking down walls?
And then tonight happened. The wall came tumbling down. We started our rocking session the same way we always start it- blankie and binkie just right and a good book. Tonight, Caleb picked the book we sent to him in Russia while we were waiting to go back to bring him home. The book has pictures from our first visit with C in the orphanage, along with captions in Russian. We read the book together and talked about the first time we ever met and how happy we were. We also talked about how sad we were to have to leave him behind. And then we talked about how happy we were again to get to come back to bring him home. C's eyes just lit up when I explained the last part of the story to him. I told him I will ALWAYS be his Mommy and that I will ALWAYS love him. What came next blew me away...
He smiled a HUGE, slow smile and looked me right in the eyes and said, "I love you, Mama". Then he wrapped his little arms around my neck and squeezed with all his might. Talk about a heart bursting with joy! Oh my... I am willing to bet he understood exactly what I was saying.
Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time I ever attempted this was a few weeks ago. I pretty much expected Caleb's reaction to be something like "I love you too, Mama", which is what he always says (with an adorable sideways smile) when I tell him I love him. That's not at all what he said, though.
Instead of the anticipated reaction/response, Caleb quickly and angrily replied (complete with a scowl), "NO, Mama!", to my pledge of unending love for him. I was so taken aback, I repeated my pledge again. But I got the exact response I had gotten the first time.
Hmmm... Not the perfect love-filled moment I was going for.
Talk about a stab through the heart. Great suggestion, I thought. Maybe I should not do what the therapist tells me to do... EVER AGAIN.
Something prompted me to keep going, though. I had a creeping suspicion that C DID understand what I was saying to him (at least to some degree)and it scared him. He has a pattern of pushing me away whenever he feels I am getting too close. And whenever he pushes me away, I must lovingly push back until he lets me in. It was time to break down yet another wall. Clearly the therapist DID know what she was talking about.
Sure enough, I got the same angry reaction night after night. Caleb's language abilities are well above average and I tried every avenue I could think of to expand on the meaning of always. This only seemed to anger him more and he insisted he did NOT want me to say such things. He even cried a few times and squinted he eyes so he didn't have to look at me. Did I mention I very much dislike breaking down walls?
And then tonight happened. The wall came tumbling down. We started our rocking session the same way we always start it- blankie and binkie just right and a good book. Tonight, Caleb picked the book we sent to him in Russia while we were waiting to go back to bring him home. The book has pictures from our first visit with C in the orphanage, along with captions in Russian. We read the book together and talked about the first time we ever met and how happy we were. We also talked about how sad we were to have to leave him behind. And then we talked about how happy we were again to get to come back to bring him home. C's eyes just lit up when I explained the last part of the story to him. I told him I will ALWAYS be his Mommy and that I will ALWAYS love him. What came next blew me away...
He smiled a HUGE, slow smile and looked me right in the eyes and said, "I love you, Mama". Then he wrapped his little arms around my neck and squeezed with all his might. Talk about a heart bursting with joy! Oh my... I am willing to bet he understood exactly what I was saying.
Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
More Disney Pics- Just For Fun!
Some of these awesome pics were taken by my girlfriend Robin. She caught some great moments- thanks Robin! Can't wait to go back!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Catching Up
Wow! Once again, it has been FOREVER since I last posted. The main reason for this is our computer is acting up and I can't stay online for more than a few minutes at a time. In addition, the past month has been a full one...
For starters, Caleb had an upper GI endoscopy to confirm our suspicions of H Pylori and to look for any other problems. C did so well- it was amazing. He is a tough little guy! I have never seen anyone hop right up immediately after waking up from anesthesia! That's my boy! Poor guy, though... as soon as I saw the pictures of the inside of his tummy, I felt awful we didn't uncover it sooner. His symptoms had been so vague and it took a lot for me to convince the Drs. and myself that something really wasn't right. Now that that drama is over with, C is being treated and is already showing signs of improvement :0)
On to the next thing... I finally had surgery to have my gallbladder removed- hooray! It is history!!!!! I have been waiting for quite a while to have this done, but bringing Caleb home had to come first. Once we finally had him home, I didn't want to have it done until I felt he was securely attached, as recovery from even a minor surgery would have meant I couldn't pick him up / hold him for at lest a week . I was very nervous before the surgery that this limitation would really set C back a lot in terms of his attachment because I usually pick him up and hold him a LOT in order to promote attachment. Jan. and Feb. had already proven to be difficult as it was... Turns out, though, C was VERY compassionate during the week following surgery and never acted out like I had feared. I can only guess that his own struggles with stomach problems and his endoscopy experience just prior to my own surgery helped him to really understand what was going on. He is such a sweet little boy and has such a big heart! So, in the end, the surgery just proved to me how attached he really is. Praise God!
So many other things have happened over the past month, but the most notable to me was our first visit with the behavioral / attachment therapist. She was wonderful! I really don't feel like C has any major issues attachment-wise, but there are still lots of little behaviors and things D and I felt we needed a little help understanding. We were also looking for some strategies for helping us deal with C's tantrums / disconnecting and with his extreme fears. Our visit was very successful in getting us on the right track and we can't wait to go to our next session! Next time, C will be fully evaluated for attachment and behavioral issues. This will give us a better idea of what we need to focus on with C and what things may just work themselves out developmentally. I'm so grateful to have the chance to get counsel from someone who really understands attachment. The chance to learn from her and to receive guidance from her is a blessing to us.
For starters, Caleb had an upper GI endoscopy to confirm our suspicions of H Pylori and to look for any other problems. C did so well- it was amazing. He is a tough little guy! I have never seen anyone hop right up immediately after waking up from anesthesia! That's my boy! Poor guy, though... as soon as I saw the pictures of the inside of his tummy, I felt awful we didn't uncover it sooner. His symptoms had been so vague and it took a lot for me to convince the Drs. and myself that something really wasn't right. Now that that drama is over with, C is being treated and is already showing signs of improvement :0)
On to the next thing... I finally had surgery to have my gallbladder removed- hooray! It is history!!!!! I have been waiting for quite a while to have this done, but bringing Caleb home had to come first. Once we finally had him home, I didn't want to have it done until I felt he was securely attached, as recovery from even a minor surgery would have meant I couldn't pick him up / hold him for at lest a week . I was very nervous before the surgery that this limitation would really set C back a lot in terms of his attachment because I usually pick him up and hold him a LOT in order to promote attachment. Jan. and Feb. had already proven to be difficult as it was... Turns out, though, C was VERY compassionate during the week following surgery and never acted out like I had feared. I can only guess that his own struggles with stomach problems and his endoscopy experience just prior to my own surgery helped him to really understand what was going on. He is such a sweet little boy and has such a big heart! So, in the end, the surgery just proved to me how attached he really is. Praise God!
So many other things have happened over the past month, but the most notable to me was our first visit with the behavioral / attachment therapist. She was wonderful! I really don't feel like C has any major issues attachment-wise, but there are still lots of little behaviors and things D and I felt we needed a little help understanding. We were also looking for some strategies for helping us deal with C's tantrums / disconnecting and with his extreme fears. Our visit was very successful in getting us on the right track and we can't wait to go to our next session! Next time, C will be fully evaluated for attachment and behavioral issues. This will give us a better idea of what we need to focus on with C and what things may just work themselves out developmentally. I'm so grateful to have the chance to get counsel from someone who really understands attachment. The chance to learn from her and to receive guidance from her is a blessing to us.
Monday, February 23, 2009
A Magical Trip
Can you guess where we went? I know I have taken much too long to post about our trip. It sure is true that time flies when you are having fun... and what could be more fun than THE Happiest Place on Earth?
Our trip to Disney World was absolutely awesome! We are so very grateful to have gotten the chance to go. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to all of you who made it possible!!!!!!! It was so amazing to see it all through a 2 year-old's first-time perspective :0) Initially, I was a little nervous about C's first plane ride since coming home from Russia. He was NOT fond of flying back then, so I worried he would be afraid and panic. I quickly realized, though, that my fears were unfounded. As soon as C saw how excited his brother and sisters were about getting on the plane and buckling in, he just happily followed along. O.K., I slipped him a few pieces of candy as a diversion too (never hurts :0) ).
Once we got to Disney, Caleb did so well and kept up with the big kids just fine! We met up with my best friend and her family, so there were 7 kids in all! It was so wonderful to finally be together again, and to introduce them to C. Robin's kids were so sweet to C and he fell in love with her 2 girls right away... and I think her son is his newest hero!
Anyway, I could go on and on, but I think pictures will do a better job of showing just how much fun we had. Bear with me... the first picture is not so convincing :0)
First ride... Small World...C tried to muster a smile, but was a little nervous
Epcot- C was warming up to the whole thing, despite the chilly weather (balmy to us!)
C admiring one of his sisters at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique
Brothers enjoying a snack in theMagic Kingdom
Ashley in Minnie Mouse's Garden
Missing one child in this pic. Yes, Andrew had his Russian big bro shirt on.
Russia- It's a Small World
Daddy's shoulders- best seat in the house
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Danc'in Fool
I've been wanting to post this for awhile, but I keep forgetting. C loves to dance and it's really fun to watch him...
Friday, January 16, 2009
A Step Forward
I haven't blogged for a few weeks... I just haven't had a whole lot to say. The chaos of the past few weeks seems to have taken its toll on C. A's birthday was the final straw for C. The change in his routine and the lack of individual attention from Mommy has caused him to seek attention in some very negative ways, despite our best efforts to give him as much love and positive praise as we can possibly muster. He has been VERY difficult and has reverted back to the tantrums of old... ie: screaming uncontrollably, refusing to look at us and fighting HARD when we try to hold him and calm him down. The only new thing he has added to his fit-throwing repetoire is he screams "NO!" everytime one of us tries to say anything to him. *SIGH*
Of course, the return of these fits was not met with happiness by any of us. In fact, I took the return of the fits quite hard at first. C truly has been behaving just like he did 7 months ago, so it felt as though we were starting right back at square 1 again, and I certainly did not EVER want to go back there. We've even had to go back to holding time again. Ughhhhh! I hate holding time.
Now that it has been a few weeks since the fits first returned, I've finally been able to move past my initial reaction of fear and panic and react constructively during C's fits. I have spent a lot of time in prayer, asking God to help me stay calm and to find a way to get into C's heart past all of the fear and anger he is feeling.
As I mentioned previously, C generally refuses to look at us when he is having a tantrum. He shuts down and emotionally withdraws. He also fights being held. This has always disturbed me, as I have vivid memories of my older 3 children looking at me in a pleading fashion as they threw their tantrums, almost as if they were silently pleading with me to help them to calm down. C has never done this. He always withdraws completely whenever he is angry / frustrated. He does not allow himself to connect with me or to be comforted by me. Because C has now conquered allowing himself to be helped and loved when he is NOT feeling angry (like when he is sleepy, hungry or hurt), I decided it is now time for me to teach him to allow me to help him when he is feeling angry. We started about 2 weeks ago during one of our holding time sessions, while I rocked him in the rocking chair. I noticed C had his eyes partially open (usually he has them tightly shut), so instead of just talking to C gently and telling him how much I love him while he was screaming, I held his face close to mine, lined my eyes up with his and followed his head as he thrashed to get away from me. I kept telling him he can look at me and that it would not hurt him. This exercise terrified him and he began to sweat profusely, but I continued to tell him "it's O.K. to look at your mommy when you are angry... I am here to help you... I love you". C's English is good enough now that I could tell he understood every word I was saying. I asked his if it scared him to look at me and he screamed "yes". I told him not to be afraid... that he could do it. Finally, he calmed down and just gazed into my eyes. His beautiful blue eyes were still brimming with tears. I told him again that he didn't need to be afraid of looking at me and that Jesus wants him to be able to look at me and feel my love for him. He said, "I know Mommy" and then wrapped his arms around me and squeezed tightly. My heart just filled with joy!
Thank you, Lord, for giving my son the courage to open his heart just a little bit more.
Of course, the return of these fits was not met with happiness by any of us. In fact, I took the return of the fits quite hard at first. C truly has been behaving just like he did 7 months ago, so it felt as though we were starting right back at square 1 again, and I certainly did not EVER want to go back there. We've even had to go back to holding time again. Ughhhhh! I hate holding time.
Now that it has been a few weeks since the fits first returned, I've finally been able to move past my initial reaction of fear and panic and react constructively during C's fits. I have spent a lot of time in prayer, asking God to help me stay calm and to find a way to get into C's heart past all of the fear and anger he is feeling.
As I mentioned previously, C generally refuses to look at us when he is having a tantrum. He shuts down and emotionally withdraws. He also fights being held. This has always disturbed me, as I have vivid memories of my older 3 children looking at me in a pleading fashion as they threw their tantrums, almost as if they were silently pleading with me to help them to calm down. C has never done this. He always withdraws completely whenever he is angry / frustrated. He does not allow himself to connect with me or to be comforted by me. Because C has now conquered allowing himself to be helped and loved when he is NOT feeling angry (like when he is sleepy, hungry or hurt), I decided it is now time for me to teach him to allow me to help him when he is feeling angry. We started about 2 weeks ago during one of our holding time sessions, while I rocked him in the rocking chair. I noticed C had his eyes partially open (usually he has them tightly shut), so instead of just talking to C gently and telling him how much I love him while he was screaming, I held his face close to mine, lined my eyes up with his and followed his head as he thrashed to get away from me. I kept telling him he can look at me and that it would not hurt him. This exercise terrified him and he began to sweat profusely, but I continued to tell him "it's O.K. to look at your mommy when you are angry... I am here to help you... I love you". C's English is good enough now that I could tell he understood every word I was saying. I asked his if it scared him to look at me and he screamed "yes". I told him not to be afraid... that he could do it. Finally, he calmed down and just gazed into my eyes. His beautiful blue eyes were still brimming with tears. I told him again that he didn't need to be afraid of looking at me and that Jesus wants him to be able to look at me and feel my love for him. He said, "I know Mommy" and then wrapped his arms around me and squeezed tightly. My heart just filled with joy!
Thank you, Lord, for giving my son the courage to open his heart just a little bit more.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Happy New Year and Merry Russian Christmas!
Happy New Year and Merry Russian Christmas!
Here is some information about Russian Christmas from http://www.worldofchristmas.net/...
In Russia, Festival of Winter is celebrated instead of the religious festival of Christmas but still Christmas lingers in some parts of the country. Traditional Russian Christmas involves special prayers and a fast of 39 days till the first star appears in the sky on Christmas Eve (which falls on 6th of January in Russia). The star heralds the beginning of a twelve-course supper, one course each for the twelve apostles. Traditional Russian Christmas dishes include fish, beet soup known as Borsch, cabbage stuffed with millet and cooked dried fruit. Hay is spread on the floors and tables so that horse feed grows abundantly in the coming year. Similarly, Russians make clucking noises so that their hens lay more eggs.
On Christmas Day, people sing hymns and carols and gather in churches. Churches are decorated with Christmas trees known as 'Yelka', flowers and colored lights. Various meats form a part of the traditional Christmas dinner such as goose and suckling pig. Babushka (meaning 'grandmother') distributes presents to children in Russia. According to the folklores, she is very old and when the Three Wise Men stopped on their way and asked her to accompany them to visit Jesus, she declined because it was very cold. However, she regretted the decision later and set off with presents for the baby in her basket. However, she never found Jesus and in the hope of finding Him one day, visits all the houses with children and leave toys for the good ones. Dedushka Moroz (Father Frost) or Grandfather Christmas replaces Father Christmas in Russia.
On Christmas Day, people sing hymns and carols and gather in churches. Churches are decorated with Christmas trees known as 'Yelka', flowers and colored lights. Various meats form a part of the traditional Christmas dinner such as goose and suckling pig. Babushka (meaning 'grandmother') distributes presents to children in Russia. According to the folklores, she is very old and when the Three Wise Men stopped on their way and asked her to accompany them to visit Jesus, she declined because it was very cold. However, she regretted the decision later and set off with presents for the baby in her basket. However, she never found Jesus and in the hope of finding Him one day, visits all the houses with children and leave toys for the good ones. Dedushka Moroz (Father Frost) or Grandfather Christmas replaces Father Christmas in Russia.
As a family, we plan to observe Russian Christmas (I'm hoping my recipe ideas will improve every year, because as of right now, I don't have much!) and are excited about making this an annual tradition! Thanks to C, we get to celebrate Christmas twice :0)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
C's First Christmas
C had a great first Christmas! Although it was surely overwhelming and confusing to him at times, he took it all in stride... even his first visit to Santa surprised us. The big kids all wanted to go see Santa, so C tagged along. We knew full well C would most likely be terrified by Santa, so we told him he did not have to sit on his lap or talk to him if he didn't want to. Once we got there, though, and he saw his brother and sister sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas, he decided he had to do the same. Before I could even snap a picture, C walked right up to Santa, allowed Santa to hoist him up on his lap, looked Santa straight in the eyes and said "TRUCK!" loudly and clearly before Santa had even spoken a single word to him. He then quickly hopped right back off of Santa's lap and calmly returned to the safety of Mommy and Daddy. Santa would never have believed C spoke only Russian just 6 months ago and has never been to visit Santa before! And guess what?
C got a truck for Christmas (actually, he got several)! Santa did not disappoint :0)
Below are some pics from our Christmas family picture-taking party. In order to get the kids to smile for the pics and to help them to see it as fun, I decided to call it a picture-taking party and let them each take a bunch of pictures. Not only did the kids have a blast, they actually took some really cute pictures! We will be using this tactic a lot more in the future! Oh- mute the music and listen to video at the end... you can hear C's Russian accent (trills his R's and says kreesmees)... so cute :0)
We hope you all had a very blessed Christmas and may your New Year be full of JOY!
C got a truck for Christmas (actually, he got several)! Santa did not disappoint :0)
Below are some pics from our Christmas family picture-taking party. In order to get the kids to smile for the pics and to help them to see it as fun, I decided to call it a picture-taking party and let them each take a bunch of pictures. Not only did the kids have a blast, they actually took some really cute pictures! We will be using this tactic a lot more in the future! Oh- mute the music and listen to video at the end... you can hear C's Russian accent (trills his R's and says kreesmees)... so cute :0)
We hope you all had a very blessed Christmas and may your New Year be full of JOY!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Looking Back
One year ago today, I met my baby boy face to face for the very first time. So much has happened since then, and yet, it is as if time has stood still. My memories of that day are so vivid... the emotions of that day are still so raw. Today, C and I watched some of the videos we took in the orphanage last year. He seemed to show some flickers of recognition, but not much. I, on the other hand, remember it ALL.
What do I remember?
I remember my heart doing flip-flops as the van headed toward the orphanage that day.
I remember begging God to help me to know our son the moment I laid eyes on him.
I remember barely being able to contain myself as we were led into the orphanage.
I remember going up to the director's office.
I remember the director questioning us and I noticed I could see her lips moving, but I could not hear her.
I remember thinking, "When are they going to let us see him?"
I remember the office door swinging open (just a few feet away from me) unexpectedly.
I remember seeing my son's face for a brief moment (his eyes were so wide!) and then the caregiver (who was holding his hand) apologized in Russian and quickly shut the door again.
I remember knowing without a doubt C is my son.
I remember not being able to breathe.
I remember my arms aching, I wanted to scoop him up right then!
I remember the director finally let us go into the visiting room.
I remember C standing there, looking so frightened and so alone.
I remember the first moment I held him, my heart swelled with such joy!
I remember the first time I heard him laugh, just a few minutes later.
I remember leaving my son behind the very next day, knowing it would be months before I would see him again.
I remember God's promise to lead us through it all.
God kept his promise.
For I know the plans I have for you,
Declares the Lord,
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
Plans to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
What do I remember?
I remember my heart doing flip-flops as the van headed toward the orphanage that day.
I remember begging God to help me to know our son the moment I laid eyes on him.
I remember barely being able to contain myself as we were led into the orphanage.
I remember going up to the director's office.
I remember the director questioning us and I noticed I could see her lips moving, but I could not hear her.
I remember thinking, "When are they going to let us see him?"
I remember the office door swinging open (just a few feet away from me) unexpectedly.
I remember seeing my son's face for a brief moment (his eyes were so wide!) and then the caregiver (who was holding his hand) apologized in Russian and quickly shut the door again.
I remember knowing without a doubt C is my son.
I remember not being able to breathe.
I remember my arms aching, I wanted to scoop him up right then!
I remember the director finally let us go into the visiting room.
I remember C standing there, looking so frightened and so alone.
I remember the first moment I held him, my heart swelled with such joy!
I remember the first time I heard him laugh, just a few minutes later.
I remember leaving my son behind the very next day, knowing it would be months before I would see him again.
I remember God's promise to lead us through it all.
God kept his promise.
For I know the plans I have for you,
Declares the Lord,
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
Plans to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
Monday, December 15, 2008
Join Me in Prayer
http://karinupdates.blogspot.com
One of the mothers in my adoption chatgroup needs your prayers. Even though I do not know her personally, I have been so very blessed by her and the encouragement she has provided to all of us in the group who have traveled down the adoption path behind her. Though she may not have even been aware of it, she provided me with strength and a will to press on many times throughout our journey to C. She is a devoted mother and wife who loves Jesus. Her joy and love of life is infectious. Her oldest son is from the same orphanage as C and she and her husband just completed the adoptions of twins from Vietnam- her husband finally got to bring their daughter home just a few weeks ago. A few months ago, Karin was diagnosed with kidney cancer and she had been battling that with fierce determination and courage. Last week, her husband posted the news that she had been hospitalized and was not expected to live. Miraculously, she is still alive today, but is in need of a miracle. Her family also needs your prayers. Please follow the link above to Karin's blog and join me in prayer.
One of the mothers in my adoption chatgroup needs your prayers. Even though I do not know her personally, I have been so very blessed by her and the encouragement she has provided to all of us in the group who have traveled down the adoption path behind her. Though she may not have even been aware of it, she provided me with strength and a will to press on many times throughout our journey to C. She is a devoted mother and wife who loves Jesus. Her joy and love of life is infectious. Her oldest son is from the same orphanage as C and she and her husband just completed the adoptions of twins from Vietnam- her husband finally got to bring their daughter home just a few weeks ago. A few months ago, Karin was diagnosed with kidney cancer and she had been battling that with fierce determination and courage. Last week, her husband posted the news that she had been hospitalized and was not expected to live. Miraculously, she is still alive today, but is in need of a miracle. Her family also needs your prayers. Please follow the link above to Karin's blog and join me in prayer.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
C's First Roadtrip
C with Aunt Suzy (my sister)It has taken me way too long to post! We have been sooooo busy with Christmas decorating, shopping, parties, and programs- I'll have to post later on that. First, let me catch you all up to speed...
We decided a few weeks ago to head out East to visit my family for Thanksgiving, so at the beginning of Thanksgiving week, we packed up (and I mean PACKED!) a rented van and headed to the East Coast. Poor C... he knew something was up and I'm sure it reminded him of flying home from Russia, so he was NOT happy before we left. I tried to explain all of it to him, but how could he possibly have understood? So he spent hours whining and clinging to me- which made it a cinch to finish packing and loading up the car... HA!!! Needless to say, I was VERY worried before we left about what he was thinking and how he would fare the 15 hour car ride and sleeping in strange places, not to mention meeting lots of adoring new family members for the first time.
Well...
C surprised all of us! As soon as he settled into the van and he saw his entire family would be going with him (his blankie and Mishka included), he did great! In fact, he is the BEST 2 year-old traveler we have ever had! We hardly ever heard a complaint out of him! He seemed to love almost every second of it. Who knew? What a far cry from the scared and angry little boy we brought home just 6 months ago! He sure didn't like ANYTHING about traveling back then and he made sure we were clear on that (not that we would have expected him to like any of it back then).
One of the best parts of the trip (besides the yummy Thanksgiving dinner and getting to introduce C to the rest of my family) was that C got to see the ocean for the first time. He had looked forward to seeing the beach and the ocean for several weeks and was just thrilled when we finally got to go there on Thanksgiving day. I cannot even imagine what he will do with himself next summer, when he can actually go in the water and play in the sand. He will be in heaven! Ever since we returned home, C regularly asks if we can go see his cousins and go to the beach. Just a few more months, buddy! :0)
Monday, December 01, 2008
One Year Ago
Last year on Thanksgiving, I was praying for news of our son. It was so hard to know he was out there somewhere, but to not know any other information about him... and then on November 30th, 2007 at 3:55 PM, we got a phone call that changed everything! We found out that our son was 19 months old and he was in Siberia! I cannot describe in words what that was like... I can only say there was so much joy in that moment! Suddenly, the son I had known only in my heart for 2 years was right there in front of me! When we went to the computer to pull up his pictures, this is what we saw...
Sing to God, sing praise to his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds-
his name is the Lord-
and rejoice before him.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families...
Psalm 68:4-6
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Awakening
I just love to see C's face light up when he is praised by D or myself. His eyes shine as he grins from ear to ear, and his entire body shivers in the pure thrill of it all. He just loves to be told "great job!" or "you did it!". Of course, all children love to succeed and be praised, but it is different with C. He can hardly contain his joy at the idea of having his very own captive audience/cheerleaders. I have noticed the joy in his reaction becoming even more pronounced over the past few weeks. Lately, he says "Mama, look at me!" every chance he gets. It is clear that he is finally starting to realize that his dad and I are his FOREVER cheerleaders, and that we want to celebrate ALL of the successes and joy life brings his way. He is finally figuring out what the words Mommy and Daddy really mean. Up until now, my name has been Mommy to him, but it might as well have been any other name. I think C is really starting to understand that Mommy and Daddy are his to keep. Praise God!
Monday, November 03, 2008
First Halloween
C had a great first Halloween! We spent all last week teaching him to say trick-or-treat and talking about what we would be doing and how trick-or-treating works. The excitement of the other 3 kids clued him into the fact that something exciting was about to happen... and he was thrilled about the idea of getting so much candy! C had a few practice runs with dressing up and getting treats before the big day (went to 3 pre-Halloween parties), so he wasn't too impressed with all of the preparation before we left to go trick-or-treating (he was not impressed with jack-o-lantern carving either- in fact, he was completely disgusted with the process). Once we started knocking on doors, however, he was clearly a little confused. For the first 4 houses, he followed his big brother and sisters quietly and dutifully to the doors, looking very uncertain. He even handed his candy back to the neighbor at the second house! By the fifth house, though, C had caught on just fine and boldly led the troop to each door, all the while loudly proclaiming "Trick-or-treat!" like a pro :0)
Did I mention he was the cutest Mickey Mouse I have ever seen?
Friday, October 24, 2008
Fall Fun!
Just wanted to add a few pics for the picture hungry... These were actually taken 2 weeks ago- we went to a farm to pick apples and select some pumpkins- we had a blast :0) C and Beans fell in love with a kitten there and he kept them entertained for quite some time. We even went for pumpkin pie blizzards after- YUM!!!!! C loved every second of it! Sadly, the weather is already turning too cold to have this kind of outdoor fun, so I'll just have to reminisce :0( D just told me we may have snow flurries this weekend!!!!!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
A Gift Like None Other
I have not written much about my son's birthmother before, but I think about her just about everyday. My heart often aches for her. I often wonder what she is doing now. Is she missing him? I cannot even begin to imagine having to give up my child.
When we were in the region in Russia where our son was born, my mind was very focused on her. I was very aware that, at any given moment, she could be standing right next to us and we would never even know it. When we had C with us, I would wonder if she would know him if she saw him. I'm fairly certain she would have. There were- and still are- so many thoughts and questions I have about her... questions that will never be answered... questions C will likely have one day. I have wrestled with, and come to accept, the lack of knowing. This is, after all, how God has planned for it to be. Someday C will have to wrestle with and accept the same questions without answers. I pray for C daily. That he will be able to understand that his birth mother gave him an incredible gift- she gave him the gift of life. This is one thing we do know. It is a fact that cannot be disputed. Today, as I was holding C close, that truth became so real to me. I could feel his soft cheek, rubbing against mine, and I could hear his rhythmic breathing as he relaxed in my arms. I can't imagine C NOT being our son. I can't imagine him NOT being here. She could have chosen a different outcome. I don't think I fully realized the gravity of that fact until today.
Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes to the truth.
Thank you, Lord, for the young woman on the other side of the world,
who gave birth to our son.
Please hold her close and open her heart to the warmth of your love.
Thank you, C's birthmother, for choosing life for our son.
It is a gift like none other...
When we were in the region in Russia where our son was born, my mind was very focused on her. I was very aware that, at any given moment, she could be standing right next to us and we would never even know it. When we had C with us, I would wonder if she would know him if she saw him. I'm fairly certain she would have. There were- and still are- so many thoughts and questions I have about her... questions that will never be answered... questions C will likely have one day. I have wrestled with, and come to accept, the lack of knowing. This is, after all, how God has planned for it to be. Someday C will have to wrestle with and accept the same questions without answers. I pray for C daily. That he will be able to understand that his birth mother gave him an incredible gift- she gave him the gift of life. This is one thing we do know. It is a fact that cannot be disputed. Today, as I was holding C close, that truth became so real to me. I could feel his soft cheek, rubbing against mine, and I could hear his rhythmic breathing as he relaxed in my arms. I can't imagine C NOT being our son. I can't imagine him NOT being here. She could have chosen a different outcome. I don't think I fully realized the gravity of that fact until today.
Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes to the truth.
Thank you, Lord, for the young woman on the other side of the world,
who gave birth to our son.
Please hold her close and open her heart to the warmth of your love.
Thank you, C's birthmother, for choosing life for our son.
It is a gift like none other...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Ash has a boyfriend!
Relax, Grandmas, it's not what you think...
At bedtime tonight, I was in the hallway on my way to the bathroom to check on my girls (they are 6 years old) when I heard this conversation:
Ash: "You know B likes K and he wants to be her boyfriend" (my ears perked up right away).
Beans: "I know. But she doesn't want to go out with him" (Wow, where does this stuff come from?).
Ash: "Well, he told EVERYONE he is in love with her" (I was now hurrying to set the conversation straight).
I tried to appear casual as I entered the bathroom...
Me: "You girls are too young to be in love. You have to be grownups to have a boyfriend."
Ash (totally serious): "We know that, Mom! I'm only in love with one boy!"
Me: "You are? (I was preparing to give Ash a big lecture) Who?"
Ash: "Daddy!"
With that, she flashed me a huge grin and skipped into her room.
I didn't have the heart to tell her Daddy is already taken :0)
At bedtime tonight, I was in the hallway on my way to the bathroom to check on my girls (they are 6 years old) when I heard this conversation:
Ash: "You know B likes K and he wants to be her boyfriend" (my ears perked up right away).
Beans: "I know. But she doesn't want to go out with him" (Wow, where does this stuff come from?).
Ash: "Well, he told EVERYONE he is in love with her" (I was now hurrying to set the conversation straight).
I tried to appear casual as I entered the bathroom...
Me: "You girls are too young to be in love. You have to be grownups to have a boyfriend."
Ash (totally serious): "We know that, Mom! I'm only in love with one boy!"
Me: "You are? (I was preparing to give Ash a big lecture) Who?"
Ash: "Daddy!"
With that, she flashed me a huge grin and skipped into her room.
I didn't have the heart to tell her Daddy is already taken :0)
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Praise God For Grass Stains
I just came upstairs from doing the boys' laundry and I feel like I was stuck down there FOREVER!!!! It usually doesn't take me very long to do their laundry because their clothes are almost all dark colors and they are both fairly neat eaters. But today was different...
I spent a lot of time pre-treating their clothes today. By the time I got to the fifth or sixth pair of pants, I noticed a theme: grass stains. Then I sifted through the piles and discovered plenty more where that came from! My first reaction was frustration. I started to wonder when I would actually get to go to bed. I'm ashamed to say my mind swirled with negative thoughts about laundry and lack of sleep. Then all of a sudden, my thoughts shifted, and I remembered sitting with a mom of a little boy who was in my son's class last year. We were on a field trip and we were sitting on a bench, watching our boys wrestle one another in the grass. She had the sweetest smile on her face as she watched them. Then she turned to me and said, "I just love when he (motioning to her son) comes home with grass stains. I'm sure he'll have some today". Before I could ask her if she was feeling O.K., she explained, "He was pretty sick the first few years of his life, so I never had to clean grass stains off of his pants back then".
I had forgotten all about that comment until tonight. The memory of it sure did turn my thoughts around... Wow! How awesome! She was and is so right. Those grass stains mean my boys are healthy and strong! Thank you, Lord! On top of that, C has probably never had grass stains on his pants before. It may seem silly, but I teared up just thinking about it.
Lord, thank you for my beautiful children- all of them.
Thank you for their health.
Thank you for filling their hearts with the joys of childhood.
Thank you for giving C to our family.
Thank you for giving him the chance to be a normal little boy.
Thank you for the reminder- I needed it.
Thank you for blessing me with the awesome job of being C's Mommy.
Amen
I spent a lot of time pre-treating their clothes today. By the time I got to the fifth or sixth pair of pants, I noticed a theme: grass stains. Then I sifted through the piles and discovered plenty more where that came from! My first reaction was frustration. I started to wonder when I would actually get to go to bed. I'm ashamed to say my mind swirled with negative thoughts about laundry and lack of sleep. Then all of a sudden, my thoughts shifted, and I remembered sitting with a mom of a little boy who was in my son's class last year. We were on a field trip and we were sitting on a bench, watching our boys wrestle one another in the grass. She had the sweetest smile on her face as she watched them. Then she turned to me and said, "I just love when he (motioning to her son) comes home with grass stains. I'm sure he'll have some today". Before I could ask her if she was feeling O.K., she explained, "He was pretty sick the first few years of his life, so I never had to clean grass stains off of his pants back then".
I had forgotten all about that comment until tonight. The memory of it sure did turn my thoughts around... Wow! How awesome! She was and is so right. Those grass stains mean my boys are healthy and strong! Thank you, Lord! On top of that, C has probably never had grass stains on his pants before. It may seem silly, but I teared up just thinking about it.
Lord, thank you for my beautiful children- all of them.
Thank you for their health.
Thank you for filling their hearts with the joys of childhood.
Thank you for giving C to our family.
Thank you for giving him the chance to be a normal little boy.
Thank you for the reminder- I needed it.
Thank you for blessing me with the awesome job of being C's Mommy.
Amen
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